Just My Luck // Jacksepticeye college AU

Part 8 - Time i moved on

Hey guys! Hope you're enjoying reading this fanfiction. Warning: scenes of self-harm, so if you don't want to read it its okay, just skip it.

I'm really confused.

Yesterday was kinda perfect. I kissed Jack, and I found out that his feelings are mutual, but I can't help but feel like I'm the most terrible person in the world.

I also realised that Mark liked me too, and he practically saw that I was interested in Jack. I've broken him. He hasn't spoken to me in a few days and it seems that no-one else has either. Jack has said that he has locked himself in his room, to deal with his broken heart on his own. I don't want him to be alone.

Mark and I have become best friends since that first gaming lesson. We have so much in common, and Mark is a really funny guy who always seems to cheer me up. I guess I'm dumb for not seeing that he was wanting something more. I should have been at least one of the first people to notice.

Jack and I have been quite awkward around each other lately. After that night we just kinda went back to being like ourselves beforehand. I mean, I at least expected us to talk about what happened, or even maybe kiss again... Once or twice more. I don't even know where we are at the moment. Are we going out or is that moment just going to be an awkward moment that we will laugh upon in the future? I don't want it to be the second option because I want something more with Jack... Something special.

I walk up the stairs to go and see if Jack is in his room with Mark. I want to know if Mark is okay, and I just need to speak with him. I can't lose Mark. I just can't. I'll break and then the thing will happen like 3 years before...

3 years earlier

"You fucking bitch!" Shouted James as he pressed his hand on his just slapped face. His mouth was wide open with shock and I was just laughing my face off. I guess I was sort of high? I mean it was only a bit of weed! No harm done.

I was standing outside the bar that had just kicked us out, because we were being 'too loud'? It's a bar for God sake, its meant to be loud! I was with James, Katie and Tris. We were pushing each other, joking around when I pushed Tris into the road. She tripped backwards and landed on her bum. She was giggling her ass off as she just lay there in the middle of the road.

"Get out the middle of the road! You could get squashed like jelly!" I screamed, laughing historically. She shook her head and lay down flat on the road. Tris was always a girl who wanted to prove a point, and she always had to be right.

I started to walk towards the road to pick up high Tris when I saw bright lights gleam on her head. I turned to look and I white van, travelling at a high speed was heading straight for Tris. I screamed at Tris to get out of the way but it was too late.

He body tumbled off of the front of the van. There was such a large impact. We ran to Tris' still body, which was lying cold on the floor, with a pool of blood around her head. Katie screamed and cried into the crook of James' neck. I crouched down beside Tris' body, not taking my eyes off her lifeless eyes. This was all my fault.

After the accident, I had terrible problems. I didn't eat or sleep as much as I was supposed to, and I began to fail my work. I became depressed and I started to self-harm. I know that that is kinda depressing but its true. I couldn't handle the fact that I killed my best friend, and the only way to cope was to punish myself.

James and Katie helped me get better though. They took me outside more to see what I had missed and they introduced me to new people. They took care of me.

I arrived outside of Jack and Mark's door, beginning to get butterflies. I don't know why, but suddenly I felt uncomfortable being around Jack and Mark. I just need answers so I can figure out what's going on with my life.

I knocked 3 times on the door. I heared nothing. I knocked 3 times again and there was still no answer. I opened the door and no-one was in there. That's strange? Mark hasn't left his room in days, so why isn't he here now. Also, where's Jack? I thought I saw him walk in here just a half an hour ago.

I close the door and walk further into the room. The place was a mess. Mark's clothes were sprawled all over the floor. It looked like some kind of territory that an animal had claimed. I walk towards the bathroom, noticing the door is closed shut, and locked.

"Hello? It's Nicki... Is anyone in there?" I asked, wondering why the bathroom door was locked. I heared a tumble come from inside the room and I realise that something bad is happening.

"Mark? Is that you Mark? Let me in okay, I'm freaking out here!" I shouted, my voice shaking with fear.

I heared a moan which sounded like Mark. It sound like he's in pain. I knock on the door, giving him the sign to let me in. I wait a moment and he doesn't let me in so a knock again.

"Mark please!" I begin to sob. If he has done what I think he has done then that's it. I'm never leaving his sight again.

"That's it. I'm kicking this fucking door down!" I shout, tears streaming down my cheeks, leaving wet stains on them.

"1...2...3!!!" I screamed and I run up to the door, banging my shoulder against the wooden structure. It failed. The door was still intact, but I heared a noise coming from the inside of the locked bathroom.

The door clicked and opened only an inch. I opened the door fully only to see what I most dreaded. Mark, covered in blood, his blood. I ran to crouch beside him. I took him into a hug And he burst out crying. He was getting my T-shirt with his tears but I' didn't care. Not one bit.

When Mark stopped crying, I released him from my hug. I looked down to see blood stains in his arms, where he had cut. I see a bloody raiser on the floor next to him and I immediately retaliate. I grab it and chuck it out of the open window. I then grab a first aid kit, which is kept in every room, and bandage up his open wounds.

He looked ashamed. He was obviously scared at what he had just done, and he was probably new to the whole 'self-harm' thing.

I sat crossed legged in front of him with sad eyes. I didnt know that Mark was this low. The fact that no-one knew made me feel even worse. He was suffering on his own, and I know how that feels. It feels like complete and utter crap

"Thanks" he said quietly. I smiled a small smile and nodded. I'm glad that he appreciated my help.

"I'm sorry." I said, tears running down my cheeks again. I began to sob quietly. It was kinda embarrassing actually. I felt Marks arms wrap around my neck. I guess it was my turn for the comfort.

"There is nothing to apologise for Nicki. I've just been pretty low lately, and I guess this just happened." He said, shushing me softly to help me calm down.

"Is it my fault? Because you saw me and Jack...kiss?" I sniffed quietly. He stayed silent for a second and unwrapped his arms from my neck. I stared into his wet eyes and they looked hurt.

"No. It's not. It did hurt but it didn't make me want to physically hurt myself. It's something else..." He said quietly. It seemed we were whispering back and forth forever, even though there was nobody around.

"Then what is it?" I asked softly, letting him though that he can tell me anything. Mark can tell me anything. He has been there for me and me there for him, and I would consider him my best friend. He should trust me to take care of his problems.

"My dad... He...he died" he said, tears beginning to fall down his cheeks again. Oh god. His dad has died? Our situations are so alike that I feel like I'm reliving that one moment that ruined my younger life. But I won't let Mark fall as far as me. I will help him through this no matter what!