War Machines

12

     Unless it was a medical emergency or an attack, no one ranked lower than Base Commander was allowed into Terra Omega bunkhouses. After medical released us, Matthews walked me as far as he was allowed, stopping at the intersection between the male, the female, and the much smaller Terra Omega bunkhouses. I took a chance and gave him a grateful kiss. He seemed to enjoy it, returning the kiss even though we both had sore faces. Then he hesitated at the line, not meeting my eyes. "That's the last time I can kiss you, baby," he told me. "They denied my request for a contract with you. They won't give me a FRERR."

     That was a blow. A Formal Request for an Exclusive Romantic Relationship signed by the Border Guard governing council was the only way that anyone could have an exclusive relationship with a Terra Omega operative. While rare, I did know of a few other operatives who had them and enjoyed close relationships with someone in their assigned squad. But apparently, I wasn't about to join them. "I wasn't aware you put through the request," I admitted, knowing I sounded as disappointed as I felt. "Considering their potential plans for me, I'm not surprised they refused it."

     "Yeah, me either, and the truth of the matter is that I'm pretending I don't know yet," he confessed. "McGinty always checked my e-mail for me. She told me I got denied this morning, before... Before the mission. So now I can lie and say I didn't get the message yet." He pulled me closer and carded his fingers through my short hair. "J, listen to me, baby. McGinty and Olsen and I went over the regulations with a fine-tooth comb. Terra Omega operatives are protected from unwanted sexual contact from ranking officers, politicians, government leaders, and pretty much anyone else in a position of authority over you. But Zeke doesn't qualify as any of that. Worse, the guidelines for the acceptable use of operatives state that the governing council of the Border Guard can vote on any use for an operative that can be demonstrated as being consistent with the goal of protecting humanity. If they decide that giving you to Zeke so he keeps fighting on our side fits that criteria? There's no way to stop them. We looked at everything, tried out all our arguments, but it's still looking like they can actually vote to hand you over to Zeke for..." He shook his head. "For whatever he wants you for. You'd be ordered to comply, no matter what you thought of it." His handsome face twisted into a grimace. "I can't stop it!" he exclaimed. "I can't keep that motherfucking creeper from taking you!"

     I'd never seen Matthews looking like this. His head was hanging low from more than just physical pain. His eyes seemed dull, hollow, and sunken. The dark circles I was seeing under them might be bruises, but I didn't think so. The broad, proud shoulders were slumped. He looked drawn, exhausted, and worst of all, defeated.

     I felt something twist in my chest. Reaching out a hand, I turned his face and waited until his eyes met mine. "Zeke doesn't want me like that," I assured him. "He won't force me, Matthews. In fact, he was really pissed off when he found out the brass was even considering it."

     "You cannot possibly think that he doesn't want you, J."

     I thought about our conversation, how he'd called me beautiful. "He definitely wants me, but he wants me on my own terms. He doesn't want me to be forced."

     He scoffed. "You're honestly trying to tell me that the fucking Pilgrim, who under normal circumstances could take on half this base to drag you out of here, is going to refuse if the brass decides to hand you to him on a silver platter?"

     "That's what I believe." I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Matthews, I have wanted you for a long time. But you never wanted me, because you weren't interested in a man. I couldn't tell you the truth about my gender because of my orders, and now that you know it, everything's different. I won't lie and say I understand why. But if the brass won't let us try this whole relationship thing? Then at least I don't have to worry about the implications of it failing. Meanwhile, we have tonight, right? There's nothing to stop us from being together tonight, with no expectations of exclusivity."