Snapshot · (Roswell Fanfiction) · √

23. Things Will Never be the Same

Sean's Bedroom

Friday afternoon

(2006) Max is 21, Liz is 20

His lips traveled down the side of her neck and she moaned softly, her arms tightening across his shoulder blades to pull him closer.

"Eager tonight, are we?" his voice whispered against her ear and she quickly pushed back the nervousness those words instilled.

"Uhm..." she said, arching her neck in an attempt to put some distance between them so that she could breathe. Why did it suddenly feel so claustrophobic in here? "Maybe we should slow down."

She froze as his hand squeezed her breast but it was her sharp intake of air that had him looking at her. And he completely misread her body language.

With a grin he asked playfully, "Why should we slow down?"

His hand left her breast only to travel up to her throat so that he could move downwards again, only this time underneath her top. His fingers itched underneath the strap of her bra on his way but before he could touch her uncovered breast, she rolled away from him.

He stared at her dumbfounded, silently waiting for an explanation as his breaths were moving wildly through his lungs.

She pushed herself up against the headboard, brushed trembling hands through her tousled hair and mustered up a smile for his benefit. "It's moving a bit too fast."

He stared at her for a second before jumping off the bed. His arms were moving in agitation as he started pacing the floor and Liz's heartbeat increased. Because she knew what was coming and she really didn't feel up to that conversation - again.

Pushing his hands through his hair in frustration, he spun on his heels to face her with dark eyes. "Moving too fast? It's moving too fast?"

She chewed on her bottom lip as she self-consciously rearranged her top to cover herself up a bit more. "Yes. I'm not ready yet, Sean." Deciding to turn the tables, she bit out. "You said you would wait. That you wouldn't pressure me."

"Fuck, Liz," Sean grumbled. "Yes, I said that. But it's been almost a year. We've been together for a fucking year and you still won't let me touch you."

She looked at him incredulously. "I don't let you touch me? Of course I do!"

"Oh right," he said, hitting his hand against his forehead as if punishing himself for forgetting. "You do let me kiss you and maybe occasionally touch parts of your body. But I want more, Liz! I'm your fucking boyfriend. And right now I don't feel like your boyfriend at all."

She swallowed. She knew that he had a right to feel that way, but she didn't like to be pressured. She didn't like that he made her feel dishonest and like a tease.

"Just because I won't let you sleep with me?"

"Yes!" he yelled and Liz flinched.

Noticing her flinch, Sean took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. Liz watched his fists clench in synchrony with his jaw, waiting for what would come next.

He opened his eyes and with a sigh he crawled onto the bed, coming to sit in front of her. "I love you, Liz."

She looked into his eyes, wanting to believe him but still hearing that ever constant voice at the back of her head droning on about how no one could really love a person like her.

When she didn't answer, he continued with his eyes softening. "And I want to have it all with you. I want to make love to you." He took a hold of her hand and dropped his eyes to watch their fingers interlace as he said slowly, "I know that for some reason you are not ready to take that step, but have you ever thought about how it makes me feel?"