sweet nothing (a hualian fanfiction)

Chapter 2

Xie Lian had been lying to himself for a long time, but one of his many lies had finally caught up to him. He could not handle four shifts at different jobs every day. His shoulders ached even as he stared in the mirror and brushed his teeth for bedtime. What wouldn't he do to get a massage, but he could hardly afford it.

He rinsed him mouth and sighed, drowsiness and fatigue barely just letting him check if he had any messages on his phone before crawling into his bed, a small foam mattress beside his kitchenette that barely fit his frame.

Xie Lian hated sleep. It held his hand softly, like a friend tugging him on a journey, then took him to his past. The man tossed and turned, fighting demons that had been with him so long they were nearly a comfort, and in the morning, he woke, still exhausted. The pillow beneath his head had become lumpy from years of use since he purchased it and did nothing to ease the ache in his head. He knew what was coming next. No work for him today.

Xie Lian hated excuses. He pushed himself to the limit every time, because every second he could be working and wasn't was money he wouldn't get. And he needed money if he wanted to keep living, even if he really, truly, deep down did not want to. Not any longer. He was so, so tired of fighting.

No. He had to get up. The rent wasn't going to pay itself. But no matter how much he screamed at himself, his body wouldn't listen. Gradually, even as he chanted "Get. Up." in his head, he fell back asleep.

The next time Xie Lian opened his eyes again, the sun was high in the sky. Clearly, it was noon. He groaned and ran a hand down his face; his head had stopped banging, thankfully, and he still felt quite tired, but it wasn't as bad as before. At least he could get up now.

He trudged to his kitchen and set a kettle of water on the stove, then leaned against the wall and pulled out his phone. He had two employers to apologize profusely to, no more than that if he could make it to his other two jobs, but his long, sleep-ruffled hair kept getting in his way and he struggled to see the screen. Ultimately, he huffed and put it up in a ponytail before continuing to tap at his screen.

After he'd fielded off Ling Wen's concerned questions (he texted her second because she was nicer and easier to deal with), he slid his phone back into his pocket. He resumed staring aimlessly at his weakly whistling kettle. Maybe it was because he was so zoned out, or maybe the weight of his phone in his right sweatpant pocket alerted him to what was in the left, but he felt something stick out against his thigh in there, balled up and prickly like paper.

Xie Lian stuck his hand inside and when he pulled it out, it was the money Hua Cheng had given him yesterday... All of a sudden, like something clicked inside his brain, his head whipped up and he let out a gasp. Hua Cheng. He'd missed seeing him today. As if the day couldn't get any worse. He sighed and pushed off the wall to grab a teacup. He sulked as he rinsed it out because who knows what insect could have crawled in and sulked as he gently poured steaming hot water on the tea leaves he set inside. He sulked because he didn't get to see Hua Cheng since his body decided to act up for no good reason and he worried he was not going to be able to meet this month's rent. What a waste of a perfectly good day—

The sound of knocking cut his thoughts off. Huh? Xie Lian wasn't expecting anyone. Rather, he didn't know anyone who would want to visit him casually. Oh, was it the landlord? Fear gripped Xie Lian's heart as he crossed over to open his door. He was sure he'd paid last month's... He cracked open the door to find Hua Cheng standing behind it.

Oh.

"Gege." Hua Cheng wasted not one second. His face was a mix of worry and determination as he studied Xie Lian's. Only a few seconds of taking the shorter man in and his face crumbled. "Gege," he whispered.

Xie Lian didn't even question what he was doing here. He'd never sensed bad intentions from Hua Cheng and it was the same even now and so he stepped back to let him in, glancing nervously behind himself at his broken down apartment. Usually, he couldn't give a shit about where he lived but this was Hua Cheng. It mattered, though for reasons he wasn't sure of.

"Are you okay?" Hua Cheng asked him as soon as the door was shut. "You weren't at the café when I stopped by in the morning. Or any of the times after that." He reached a hand out, seemingly towards his face, but hesitated. For a moment, they just watched it other softly. It was like Xie Lian was in a trance because here was something he'd always refused to admit to himself but was too tired to deny how now: Hua Cheng was beautiful. And now, he was in his home and staring at him, not sure why he was there or how his life was even real.

Blinking back to his senses, he attempted a response. "I, I'm fine," He croaked. "I just," Why did being asked if he was okay make him want to cry? He hadn't cried in... quite some time. "I..." He choked, and Hua Cheng spun into action, pulling him into his arms tightly and tucking Xie Lian's head into his chest.

It was strange. They were practically strangers but here was this 'stranger' feeding his hollow soul the comfort it so desperately needed.