“Sena dear, are you really sure about this?”
Dismayadong tanong ni Coach Alice, ang trainor ko sa pagtugtog ng Violin. She’s been my trainer ever since I started competing at such a young age. At ngayong napag desisyunan kong iwan ang pagtugtog ay talagang dismayadong dismayado sya.
“Sena, you are very talented and have a bright future ahead of you. I saw that myself when you were still a kid, you have so much potential… I understand that what happened to you was very traumatizing but-“
I cut her off and spoke.
“Madame, I am very thankful to you because of all your help for me all these years.. but.. I really can’t bring myself to play the violin anymore..”
Tumitig sya sa mga mata ko na para bang ang mga titig nyang yun ay makakapag pabago pa ng desisyon ko. Pero nang makita nyang wala talagang pag asa ay umiling iling sya.
“Sena, you don’t know how much I am rooting for you to be successful. And I am telling you that I am very, very disappointed in you today.”
Ngumiti ako nang pilit sa kanya.
“I am very sorry Madame, and thank you so much for your guidance.” Huling sabi ko at umalis na ng opisina nya.
Masakit din ito para sakin, una dahil ito talaga ang pangarap ko, hindi ko nakikita ang sarili ko na hindi tumutugtog, masakit iwan ang bagay pinaka gusto kong gawin. At ikalawa, naging mabuti si Madame Alice sakin mula pa pagka bata, mas ramdam ko pa ang pag aaruga nya sakin kaysa sa tunay kong ina. Pero, alam kong kapag nagpatuloy ako, habang buhay akong uusigin ng konsensya ko.
Maya maya ay narinig ko ang pagtunog ng cellphone ko. Tiningnan ko muna itong mag ring ng tatlong beses bago tiningnan kung sino ang caller.
Papa calling…
Alam ko na kung para saan ang itinawag nya. Hindi ko ito gusto pero kailangan kong gawin.
Pumikit ako ng mariin bago sagutin ang tawag.
“Hello, anak?” dinig kong sabi nya sa kabilang linya.
Muntik na akong matawa. Anak? After all these years? Ngayon lang sya tumawag at tatawagin pa nya akong anak?
“…”
“Anak? Serene?” tawag nya uli.
“Pa..” mapait kong tugon.
“…Anak, it’s Papa.”
Katahimikan ang bumalot sa amin pagsabi nya non. Hindi ako nag salita.
“Hija, did you already process your papers? Your passport?- I mean, wag kang mag alala, kung may makalimutan ka we’ll just sort things out pagdating mo rito sa pilipinas. No pressure anak.”
“…”
“I know how painful it is that what you’re going through right now, I understand how you feel-“
“You don’t understand. I don’t even understand how I feel so how could you?” I cut him off.
Natahimik naman sya.
I heard him clear his throat on the other side of the line.
“Just remember that I’m still here. Me and your brother. You still have us. We will be waiting for you here. Okay? I’ll leave you to rest for now. I know you’re tired.”
Napairap ako sa kawalan habang pinipigilan ang pagpatak ng luha ko. Hindi ko man aminin pero yun ang mga salitang gusto kong marinig ngayon. Dahil pakiramdam ko mag isa nalang ako.
“…Okay.” Tipid kong sagot bago pinatay ang tawag.
Tumingin ako sa kawalan at pinipigilan ang nagbabadyang luha sa mga mata ko.
Alam ko.. kasalanan ko kung bakit namatay si mama.. if only I listened to her sooner.. if only..
It doesn’t make sense now. She’s gone.
I could only blame myself for the rest of my life.
Hinigpitan ko ang hawak sa bag na naglalaman ang violin ko at saka nagpatuloy na umalis.
BINABASA MO ANG
YOU ARE THE DREAM | N. Pablo
FanfictionSena had given up her dream for the sake of her promise. Now she was sent back to the Philippines to live with her father and half-brother. She needed to adjust to a new home, new university, new environment, and new people. She didn't know what mig...
