Just Hoping For A Miracle

Six.

He left me.

Not only are we not talking anymore, but he left.

He's gone and I don't know what to do now. He was my best friend and the only thing that I can think about is everything that I did that made him leave.

And none of it makes sense to me because I know that none of this was my fault. I didn't mean to fall in love with him, I didn't intentionally ruin our friendship with the slight truth.

And right now, all I want to do is start crying every moment of everyday because he's gone and he didn't even say goodbye.

For a while there, I thought that he'd pout for a while, and then we'd be back to normal. But there's no normal when he won't even be near me anymore. I thought we'd get through this, that he'd get over himself. But he's not the person that I met all of those years ago, he's changed.

And he's not the boy that I fell in love with. He's not the one that helped me through my father's death, he's not the one that soothed me on a zipline. He's not the boy that cuddled me so I wouldn't be cold or held my hand when I got scared. He's no longer that boy who could make me laugh until my stomach hurt and tears came to my eyes.

I'm not sure that that boy even exists anymore.

I think that this new Logan has replaced the boy who would never, ever hurt me. Because all he's done since he's changed is hurt me and break me and leave me out here to fend for myself in this horrible world. He was supposed to be there to protect me, but he's gone and the only thing that's hurting is the ghost of my best friend.