The Fire of Ares

CH11- Google

Max

I woke up annoyed, well because it was a Monday, but also cause all the events that unfolded during the weekend. My mom called Mia saying her flight was canceled, and also cause I haven't talked to Ares since I've kicked him out of my house on Saturday. I wanted to text him that I was sorry, but I couldn't find the courage, nor do I know how I feel about the kiss. 

Mia opened my door slowly, the soft creak breaking the early morning silence. "Maxxie, why are you up so early?" she asked, plopping down on my bed with a yawn.

"I couldn't sleep," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Is it because Mom flaked?" she asked, a frown creasing her forehead.

I shook my head. I wanted to spill everything, to let the words tumble out and share the weight I was carrying. But saying it out loud felt too daunting. "No, just stressed with school," I said, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach my eyes.

Mia half-smiled, clearly sensing that I was hiding something. "Well, if you ever want to talk, I'm here for you," she said, giving my arm a reassuring rub.

"Thanks," I said, grateful for her support but still feeling like I was in too deep. I got up, glancing at Mia's work clothes, which made me realize I needed to get moving. "I'll change, then we can head out early."

She nodded and slipped out of my room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I rifled through my closet and grabbed the first things I could find: a dark blue hoodie and black pants—my classic Max style. As I pulled the hoodie over my head, I wondered if today would bring anything better than weekend. 

-

I sat our lunch table first, trying to avoid the herd of teens piling in. The second person to sit down was Alex, "looks like pretty boy moves fast," he said nodding in the direction behind me.

I peeked over my shoulder trying to see what Alex was talking about, Ares was sitting with the 'populars', and of course their leader Aphrodite Hail was all over him. I turn back, and my brows furrowed, why did he kiss me?  Was it a dare? The thought of him kissing and then sitting with Aphrodite, really pissed me off. Was he gonna lie and tell everyone that I kissed him?

"Aww he left us." Chris pouted as he sat in his usual spot next to me. Chris didn't really care, he just liked he had his seat back.

Elio sat down looking past me, he was the only one who knew about the kiss. Elio shook his head, looking at Ares. Elio motioned me to look at my phone.

Elio- R u ok?

Max- Yeah, why wouldn't I be?

I shut my phone off and act like my food was more interesting than the conversation they were having about Ares. A new feeling grew inside my chest as I kept hearing Ares's name, Alex and Chris wouldn't shut up about it and I kept feeling Elio's pity eyes on me. With everything going on, it all felt too much, the loud noise, the constant laughing, and Ares names being gushed out ever other word, I couldn't handle it. I was too overwhelmed, I got up from the table and quickly rushed out of the cafeteria. I heard Elio call out for me but I ignored it. I needed to leave, why am I feeling like this? I'm going home.

I walked home. It was a twenty minute walk and I was covered in sweat, and the hoodie did not help. I open the empty house and ran up to my room, throwing myself on my bed. With how much I jump on my bed, it's going to break one of these days. I heard my phone go off a couple times since I got home, assuming it was Elio I ignored it.

What were these feelings? Am I into Ares? I had never had to questioned if I was gay, I was just always into girls. I just thought I haven't found the one, and that's why I haven't been in a relationship. I needed help, and I went to the worst source, google.

Search: How do I know if I'm gay?

The first couple of links were articles about coming out stories, and one caught my eye, a quiz. I wanted to laugh, there is no way people actually use this. Clicking on it, willing to give it a try. The first questioned appeared.

Have you ever felt attracted to the same gender? 

A- Yes.

B- no

C- I'm not sure

C-I'm not sure. I find other guys handsome, but is that the same thing as attracted to?

How do you feel about dating the same gender?

A-Im not sure.

B- gross, hell no

C-i want too.

I guess A, I'm not repelled of the idea, but I also haven't actually dated anyone. I'm not homophobic, I just never thought of it as an option. I know some of my school mates are gay, and it doesn't bother me.

Have you ever kissed the same gender?

A- yes, and I liked it

B- fuck no

C- yes, but I'm unsure of how I felt.

Um C. Damn, these questions are getting kind of specific. 

Do you have on crush on Ares?

I rob my eyes and the question changed, great now i'm seeing things. Ares is really messing with my head.

Has anyone ever assumed you were gay?

A- no....

B- Maybe

C-all the time

B, maybe. Chris used to joke that I was gay when I first met him. The screen loaded and the results popped up, 

Bi-sexual.

Bi-sexual? I've never thought of that, liking both genders. The more I think about it, I kicked Ares out cause I panicked, not because I hated the kiss. It was....It was okay. I'm just shocked since, I never thought my first kiss would be with a boy or that my first kiss would be taken by Ares.

My phone went off again and I see a text from Chris.

Chris- did you skip class?

I just ignored it, I turned my phone off and closed my eyes. I was getting a headache from all this. Why would Ares kiss me, if he was just gonna get with Aphrodite. Ugh, this was really pissing me off.