Circles

Chapter III

To his surprise, things remained calm for a long time. Noah continued attending his school as usual, and he didn't even make a fuss when Alister told him that he would have less time to see him due to final exams at the university. He also didn't bring up the topic of his arm again, and Alister noticed one day that he had thrown away all his pencils, illustrations, and tools he used for drawing. It was as if little by little, things were losing their meaning to him, and he was just going through the motions day after day. When Alister looked at him, he got the impression that he was like an empty shell.

Late that night, when he realized sleep was impossible, he decided to visit Noah in his room.

He tiptoed into the bathroom, and as quietly as possible, opened the connecting door to Noah's room.

"Are you awake?" he whispered, while paying attention to the sounds around him.

He heard how Noah's breathing changed slightly, and he knew that he had heard him. Slowly he approached to the bed, trying not to make any noise, and lay down next to him. The boy didn't say a word, but he moved aside to make space for him.

"Did I wake you up?"

"No."

"I thought it might be a good idea if we sleep together, like before."

"I don't think it's a good idea now... aren't you busy with your exams?"

"Are you angry about that?"

"No. Let's just sleep," he murmured as he turned on the bed, giving him his back.

"I know something's wrong, so I'll wait until you tell me."

"I hate you."

"Of course not!" he chuckled.

Noah turned to him with frustration for a moment before flopping back onto the bed, curling up on his side. Alister waited a few minutes before getting closer, and carefully hugged him from behind.

"Why don't you want us to run away together?" Noah finally muttered, his voice broken by sadness.

"I can't. I have things to take care of here."

"What things?"

"You'll know later."

"You always tell me the same vague shit, Alister!"

"Hey, lower your voice. Don't get angry," he whispered, burying his nose in the soft hair at the nape of his neck.

"I'm tired," he complained. "I feel like I'm going crazy at any moment."

"Come on. Just a little more time."

"You don't understand."

"Explain it to me then."

"Why is it so difficult? You love me, don't you? If we leave everything here, we could go to a faraway place and get a job... then everything would be fine, and I wouldn't have to put up with all this shit anymore."

"No. I just told you I have things to take care of here. I'll do whatever you want, but not that."

Noah turned to look at him more closely.

"I want to be with you."

"Aren't you with me now?" Alister immediately sensed that Noah would cry at any moment.

"Do you love me?"

"... yes."

"Are you still dating girls?"

"Yes. What does that have to do with anything?"

"That means you don't love me."

"Of course I do. It's completely different, you know? I don't care about them."

"It's all or nothing, Alister! I would do anything for you! Why don't you?"

"It's not all black and white, Noah. And you have no idea what I'm capable of doing for you."

"Fine. Go to hell. I don't want that vague shit. Sooner or later, you'll go off with one of them and leave me," he said as he got off the bed, releasing himself from Alister's embrace abruptly.

Noah's slender, small silhouette stood in front of the window, like a dry stalk swaying in the wind.

Alister sighed and followed him.

"Are you going to cry over this?"

"No."

"Hey, let me see your face."

Despite Noah trying to avoid him, Alister eventually managed to move his hair aside to see his eyes, but to his surprise, the boy returned a calm gaze.

"Go to your room," he ordered as he pushed him firmly with his hand, moving him away from his side.

Alister smiled at him without hesitation and left the room using the hallway door, closing it with a sharp thud that resonated a bit louder than he had intended.

He hated when he couldn't predict how Noah would react.