Circles

Chapter IV

"I brought you some pastries, do you want to eat now?" Alister peeked into the room cautiously and entered slowly. "What are you doing there?"

Noah lifted his head from where he was lying on the floor to look at him, but didn't say anything. He sighed and lay back down, as if he hadn't heard.

"Let's eat, I brought you something."

"I don't want to eat..." he muttered.

"You went to classes today, right?"

"You dropped me off there yourself."

"You didn't run away then?"

"...no."

"Noah, you can't keep skipping classes."

"Why? What does it matter?"

"You wanted to go to college, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did. A year ago, before dad completely ruined my life."

"Noah, even if you can't draw, you can study something related to that. Stop overreacting..."

"I don't want to!" Noah sat up on the floor and glared at him threateningly. "Leave me the hell alone..."

"Listen to me." Alister approached and gripped his face forcefully, making him meet his gaze. "Enough of this shit. Enough of feeling sorry for yourself. Things won't change if you don't change them yourself."

Noah stayed silent as Alister released him abruptly.

"Now let's eat," he ordered as he left the room and descended the stairs to the kitchen, leaving him alone in the room.

Noah felt like his head was spinning, unable to focus properly on where he was. He had been like this most of the day, but Alister's presence had made him slightly more aware of the situation. He recognized the place, but it was as if he wasn't fully present, and the world around him was a simulation. Was he asleep? Was it a dream?

He focused his gaze on his hands for a moment, but they seemed not to belong to him, although he knew unequivocally that they were his hands. He didn't know if he was the one experiencing things at that moment, or if it was a memory or something else. Everything looked unreal, and the colors were not the usual ones.

He struggled to stand, feeling like his body was moving automatically, as if someone else was controlling him. He didn't know where to go, but he vaguely remembered Alister's words in his head.

Certainly. He had to change things. Alister was right.

The sudden pain that started in his chest briefly snapped him out of his stupor; it slowly began to consume him, spreading to his stomach, his neck, and his head, destroying everything it touched. It was like drowning in a boiling sea. The air started to elude him, and tears began to slide down his cheeks uncontrollably. He leaned against the wall to avoid collapsing to the ground, and his mouth opened in a muted scream of pain. He wanted to scream until his throat tore apart, but there was no one to hear him. He was alone and could barely breathe, so he started to panic and walked almost weakly toward the bathroom.

He splashed his face with cold water, trembling, and looked at himself in the mirror for a moment.

"Piece of shit..." he muttered in disgust.

A few seconds later, realizing something, he looked down at his left wrist. At that moment, he felt like he was thinking clearly at last, as if fresh air had returned to his lungs, and he smiled with relief.

As he walked back to the room to lock the door and then returned to the bathroom, the ideas began to take clear shape in his mind.

He had been an idiot. All this time. Anyway, no one cared.

With all his strength, he punched the mirror in front of him, shattering it into a thousand pieces and causing several cuts on his hand. He knew the impact would alert Alister instantly, so he hurriedly locked both doors. It would probably only delay him by a few seconds, but it was enough. He grabbed the sharpest shard of glass he could find as he listened to hurried footsteps on the stairs and slid it as hard as he could across his wrist while trembling, feeling that the intense pain had finally made him react.

It hurt so much and yet so little compared to what he felt. Blood began to gush uncontrollably, staining the sink and his white shirt.

"NOAH OPEN THE DOOR!"

Alister had started pounding on the door with all his might, driven by desperation.

Noah turned on the cold water tap and positioned his hand under the crystalline stream, making the blood flow faster. A few seconds later, he felt his legs giving way, and he fell backwards, unconscious on the floor as the blood continued to flow. At the same time, Alister managed to force the last door open with a dull thud, and was met with the horrific scene.

The tips of Noah's long, blonde hair were tinged with a reddish hue, while the blood soaked everything around him, slowly sliding down the boy's slender arms, draining his life away.

Trying to stop the bleeding with whatever he could find, Alister grabbed one of the towels and tied it tightly around Noah's arm. He effortlessly lifted him up, clutching him tightly, and called an ambulance as quickly as he could.

As time seemed to stand still in what felt like the longest wait of his life, he rocked Noah back and forth in his arms, calling his name to wake him and brushing the wet hair away from his face, as if that could soothe the thoughts swirling in his head.

"I won't forgive you... I won't..." he murmured over and over again as he clung to Noah desperately, waiting for help to arrive.