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Being the secret boyfriend of a famous rockstar wasn't easy. It was the summer of 1998, and BEAU X PAPILLON was at the height of their success. Yuta's name was known throughout Japan as the lead singer of such a popular rock band. Their songs topped Oricon charts time and time again, at this point even if you lived under a rock you'd still at least heard their most popular song 'Hate/Love' once.
Their fans were insanely dedicated, and there was so many of them. Some of them were doctors, lawyers, actresses from dramas and movies that Yuta even enjoyed. In the grand scheme of it all, Sicheng was insignificant. Just a regular guy from China, they met when Yuta was on vacation. He was a fan, he listened to every single song, watched all of their interviews, he admired Yuta so much.
He was starstruck originally. Yuta thought it was cute, he had such wide eyes for him, like a puppy. The shape of his lips, his ethereal eyes, his left ear shaped like a cute fairy or elf. God, he was beautiful. Sicheng was unlike anyone he'd ever seen before, he looked like more of a celebrity than him. Yuta felt enamored with him, even at first sight. As they got to know each other more, they got along more.
They had so much in common. Even though Sicheng didn't have as much energy as Yuta, they still had a mutually deep love for music. Sicheng eventually became the muse for every song that Yuta wrote, so infatuated with his otherworldly beauty and down to earth personality that he couldn't stop thinking about him. Someone who has empathy towards others and doesn't act pretty, that was his ideal type in all of the interviews he did, Sicheng fit the bill perfectly.
Sicheng reminisced as he got home, he went to Yuta's live show in Osaka and he was beat just from watching it. It could be really hard on him when he felt overwhelmingly excited for something, because it would wear on him quickly. The energy that Yuta put into shows was something that Sicheng could probably never recreate, he didn't know how he did it.
It seemed like he was doing a million things at once, yet just sitting in the front row was something so simple that drained the energy from Sicheng. It was strange to watch others who weren't like him, as if the world was moving fast but he was still moving slow.
He knew Yuta was gonna get home soon so he used the last of his energy to try and make him a quick meal. He used to be really bad at cooking but once he got with Yuta he started learning to cook so that he could make food for him since he already did so much. Oh God, he was so exhausted, his hands trembled as he tried to make Onigiri.
He got dizzy from the fatigue and knew he couldn't withstand it anymore, as his vision started to blur, he hurriedly rushed to their bedroom, there was no other place to lay down within their house so that made things harder. Luckily the space between their bedroom and kitchen wasn't large.
He hated this so much, Yuta worked so hard, put in so much physical energy to his career, and he couldn't even make him food for when he got home. Those thoughts dissipated when he passed out from the extreme tiredness he felt.
His dreams were filled with butterflies flying all over him, as he lied in a field. They were all bright blue, and they surrounded him closely, fluttering their wings only slightly. They didn't want to leave his side.
He took a good look around and saw nothing but a beautiful sky and an ancient gazebo, with a whispering willow tree right aside it. It was serene and beautiful. The butterflies that held onto Sicheng made him feel safe and loved, like someone would always look after him, like he wasn't a burden.
It wasn't long until he awoke, and right above him was Yuta, smiling as he stroked his hair gently. Sicheng felt so comfortable, it was reassuring to see his face again and know that he was still loved. "I was too tired to make you food." His disappointment in himself evident in his voice, although Yuta didn't seem phased, he was too consumed with love for him. "It's okay, I figured you would be so I got takeout for both of us." Sicheng faintly smiled. "Too tired to eat it? I'll put it in the fridge for when you wake up."
Yuta seemed like an Angel, his genuine smile was so sweet, so different than the one he put on for photo ops. "I feel like you could do better than me. I'm not that special, I can't do much else but sleep." He blurted out, not wanting to keep his self-conscious thoughts hidden inside. He came closer and wrapped his arms around him. "Baby, you're always special to me. You're the most important thing in my life and I never wanna be away from you. You give my life meaning, even if you sleep a lot."
He felt the same as he did in his dream, at peace. For the first time, he honestly believed that Yuta needed him just as much as he needed Yuta. It meant so much to him, that expressing his insecurities made them stronger, not weaker. Yuta was the one person he felt he could truly be himself with.
He leant into a kiss, one that he never wanted to stop. Yuta's soft lips felt so nice against his, it felt so natural, so right. There wasn't a problem in the world to him in this moment. Yuta pulled away for a moment, only to utter a simple, yet powerful phrase, "I fucking love you." His tone nearly made Sicheng gush like a fanboy. "I fucking love you too."
