The Broken Who Broke Others

mistake

i keep making the same damn mistake
i keep following the same pattern in each and every relationship i have with a person
i keep feeling guilty.

i tell myself
would the pain be more bearable if i
wasn't the one who covered her in blood.
i tell myself that the only reason i don't want to talk to her is because ever since i stopped,
my academics got better
but the truth is
i can't see her face
i can't see her face knowing the fact that i made it wrinkle
knowing the fact that i'm the reason we are not we anymore
knowing the fact that i'll repeat my mistake.