The Broken Who Broke Others

dark and light

i wanted to be anything but lonely
i was ready to become a fashion designer, actor and even a nurse just so that i could be loved by everyone.
i used to have a scrap book filled with dresses that had glitter and color and just anything sparkling shiny to please the human eye.
i was ready to call something lame just because it was lame in the eyes of them

i pretended to not be scared of the dark just so that they'd accept me but the next day,
the girl with the glasses who had dragged me in the dark the previous day, asked me a question
"do you like the dark?"
"yes!" i responded trying to sound as convincing as possible so that she wouldn't leave me.
"oh, i love the light." she said knowing that i would follow her footsteps no matter what.

i was so scared that they would leave me in this lonely city where i didn't know anything or anyone but i had to learn as a seven year old that no matter how much you try you can't make people stay.
i then grew up to be a person who was so scared of being left out that i never leaned in.