Rebound (jade x tori)

not drunk

a/n you guys i cannot stand writing about these two as though they dont have crushes on each other so warning in this chapter there shalt be ✨flirting by oblivious idiots ✨ 

 Jade's pov 

 The next morning when I wake up, me and Tori, on her bed, have somehow, in our sleep, moved into a T-shape, with her laying horizontally and curled with her head on my chest. I smile almost right away. I don't know why, maybe it's because of how safe I feel with her. Like she's already seen the worst, and she's accepted it and tried her best to get me through it, like she would never judge me and I can tell her and show her anything and know I can trust her. 

 But maybe she can't trust me. Maybe I'm not good enough and one day my castle walls will fly back up and I'll hurt her whether I want to or not. I know what to do. I can't kill myself, because that'll make her miserable, and I never want to do that to her. So maybe I'll just self harm. I slide myself out from under her, laying her head gently back on the bed as I slip into the bathroom, the one in between her and Trina's room and opening into her sister's room on the other side. 

 Everything in there is labeled TORI or TRINA. The razors, the shampoos, the conditioners, the soap and the makeup and even the sinks, because there was two, and Trina's side of the counter was noticeably messier, with her makeup containers left open, brushes uncleaned, and the mirror on the floor. Tori had everything neatly stacked away in a drawer system. 

 The razor. I turn on the shower, to the hottest temperature my boiling skin could bear. And then some. I feel the scorching hot water pour over me, and it hurts. And it feels good, to me, to know that for once, I have control over myself. Because the craziness for the past couple days has driven me so crazy, just showing me all the things I couldn't control no matter how hard I tried. And it broke me.

 I washed my hair, with Tori's shampoo. It smells like her. Hers is coconut; Trina's is cinnamon, which is one of the ones I like, but you know, it's... Tori. I don't know why that makes a difference. It shouldn't. But it does. 

Tori's pov

 We watch movies and hang out together the entire day, until we go to a mall for dinner at around seven. And after that, we decide to go on a daring mission to bribe a bouncer and get into a club. Which we do. We get a few drinks, maybe three or four each, and then the door opens again and unfortunately, guess who's there. Beck and Percy. I grab Jade's hand reassuringly, ready for a squeeze, waiting for her to see them.

I felt her warm hand go cold in mine, felt her tighten up. Her eyes widened and her breathing quickened as she stood up. i held onto her hand, bringing her closer, holding her back. she was crying and screaming, trying to get to the door, trying to get to them while i held her back. Eventually she gave up and turned around, curling into my arms. I held her close, whispering soothing words into her hair. 

 Over the noise of everything, no one noticed or heard this but me. I had never known that Jade could be like this. I'd always seen her as just strong, and dark, and smart, not this other side of her that was actually human. We were all human, even Jade, and I guess everyone, including her, just had to realize that. 

"It's going to be okay," I whispered. "Jade, we're all going to be okay. I'm here..." and it was right there and then that I swore to myself that I always would be there for her no matter what. "Come on. We'll go to sleep off the drinks, all right? Let's go home."

 We got back to my house and she flung herself on the bed facing away from me. I pulled the blanket over us, thinking. I cared about her, a lot, which was why I was promising myself I'd support her through this at all costs. I really, really cared about her, but this side of her sparked something in me, some sense of I-will-protect-you. 

 Like if she actually died I'd have no idea what I'd ever do without her. Like I'd better die first so I never have to deal with that. It was really, really love for her. I needed her, and now I knew she needed me. My mind was going too far now... no, i was not in love with her.

We were just the best of friends, inseparable, unable to live without the other. We weren't anything else, and I didn't have feelings at all. Or maybe I did, I thought, as I played with her hair until she faced me, and I tucked it behind her ear.

A thought hit me.

 I loved her, a lot. I wasn't even into guys anymore, not after Steven. What if this was right? You couldn't have one of us without the other. Sun and moon, dark and light, destruction and creation. We literally needed each other. And now, we were in my bed together, our heads three inches apart. 

 "Hey, Jade... if I kissed you would you be mad mad or normal mad?" I said lightly. She answered, "If I threw you out this window, would you be dead dead or just not breathing? Sleep off the drinks, come on." I protested, "I'm not drunk!" because in all reality I wasn't. She answered swiftly. "if you weren't drunk you wouldn't be asking me to kiss you." 

 "Not drunk," I insisted, unfazed. She simply said, "go to sleep." I looked around for a moment and sighed. "Not drunk." 

 "Go to sleep." 

 "I'm-"

"Go to sleep, Tori."

I smiled. The first time she'd called me by my actual name. Ever, actually.

I slept well that night.