serendipity | kth | completed

chapter 7

i stare at my ceiling, arms on my chest on top of my covers.

the rain is pounding all around me. slamming against the pavement, the windows, and my apartment in general. i loved the rain alone, but it was the aggressive claps of thunder that kept me up. each one made my stomach dip every time its booming echo seeped throughout the city.

BOOM!

i flinch and immediately pull the covers over my head. i feel like a little kid all over again. my aggravated groan is muffled by the cloth resting on my face. i snatch the cover off and look over at my alarm clock.

" 1:20 AM "

the green digital numbers flash as i heave gently. i can't deal with this tonight; at least not alone.

i beat my hand against his door gently and adjust the pillow tucked underneath my armpit. i rock back and forth on my heels as i can only hope he would still be awake. i knock once again, this time a bit harder. within seconds after my second attempt, the door is pulled open.

he gives my body a once over and then looks back at me with a grin. "i was waiting for this to happen." i glare at him as he moves to the side allowing me to enter. "i'm surprised you're still awake. grateful, but surprised." i take a seat at his kitchen table.

"i'm not the same taehyung who you used to have tucked in by 9. i'm a grown man now." he pokes out his chest and kisses his muscular biceps. i smile and drop my pillow on the ground. "first of all, i never tucked you in. in fact, i had to beg you to stay up later. and second, i don't think you'll ever be a grown man. physically maybe."

he raises an eyebrow and places his hands on his hips. "what's that supposed to mean?"

"i mean you may look like a grown man, but you act like a 5-year-old boy." i immediately burst into laughter at the look on his face. his confused look is instantly replaced by an unamused gaze. "ha ha ha, very funny." he disappears down the hall as my laughter dies down. "i know i am."

he returns with a hand full of papers and dumps them onto the table. he takes a seat next to me and begins to spread them out, and as i get a good look at them i finally realize they're sketches. there's one which is simply a rose, but there's nothing simple about it. Its petals, its stem, and even its thorns are all drawn in a way elegance can't even describe.

"this is what's been keeping me awake." his soft eyes are locked on each sheet of paper as though he's impressed himself. "who are they for?" i look over at him as he twiddles with the pencil in between his fingers. "anyone who wants them. i free draw then i put them up for display. if anyone is interested in them then i give it to them, but once they're on someone's skin i take them down," his eyes avert back to the sprawled-out mess of artwork.

"they're all just too sacred to be used more than once." i lean in and rest my arms on the table. "what makes them so special to you?" he drops the pencil on the table and grabs the rose sketch. "the fact that they're thoughts from my brain. as soon as i think of them i can't help but illustrate it. it's my imagination on paper."

his explanation makes me realize the importance of them, and maybe this is an importance all artists share. "i like that one." i point to the piece in his hand which he is still observing. "the rose." he confirms and i nod. "maybe we can get you in there one day when you're not afraid of needles."

he looks over at me and teases.

when we were together we'd made plans to get matching tattoos. our choices were either infinity symbols, hearts, or a simple word. i was never able to agree on bigger ones that would take more time and need more space. the rose was about big enough to either fit on the inside of my forearm or on the side of my ribcage.

it was so beautiful that i genuinely imagined myself in his chair, letting him tattoo his artwork on my body. "when can you do it?" his eyes widen for maybe a second before he stumbles on his words. "i- um- i can- when do you want to?" he finally gets the question out and drops the sheet before he crosses his arms

"tomorrow, maybe?" he smiles and nods. "tomorrow it is." there's a short silence where we simply stare at one another. i always feel the need to gravitate towards taehyung, and as much as i want to help it, i can't

let's not forget, i didn't leave him because i didn't love him, but simply because i was too scared to lose him. i was afraid of falling in too deep, and then suddenly being abandoned.

so i did it first.

"i'm sorry." i blurt out. he slightly tilts his head and lets out an airy chuckle. "for what?"

"for leaving you. i didn't do it because i don't love you taehyung i still love you i have never stopped loving you." i find myself beginning to rant, and when i start going i can't stop. ever since i'd stepped on that train i was yearning to explain myself to him. he had cared for me so much and i upped and left him like a coward.

what kind of fucked up reverse psychology is that?

"i left you because i was scared." he squints his eyes and points to himself. "of... me?"

i shake my head. "no of course not. i was scared to lose you. i didn't want to fall even more for you and then have you just up and leave me. i'm sorry, what i did was wrong and i cursed myself every day for it. i hated myself and you were always the only one who reminded me to appreciate myself i had left the only person that really showed they loved me and really showed they care," i grab his hands as tears well up in my eyes.

"i want to be with you taehyung. i'm ready," i whisper and smile as tears slip down my cheek. time was running out for me which he still had no clue of, but i had to let him know before it would be too late. taehyung was the love of my life, and us only crossing paths again lets me know that he truly is the only one for me.

efflorescence - what occurs after a time of reflection, study or development; flowering, blossoming

there are two things i've learned about love:

love is real and love never fails; so if it fails, it was never real.

if it is real, it will come back to you. if it's meant for you, no one else can take it from you.

he wraps his arms around me and hugs me tightly. i find comfort in his warmth and his scent. he pulls away and places his hands on my face before colliding his lips with mine. it's passionate and loving, and i never want it to stop.

he picks me up and i wrap my legs around his waist before he carries me to his room. our lips still dance gracefully against one another. he lays me down on the bed before climbing on top of me and kissing along the line of my jaw. "i've missed you so much, y/n." he whispers against my skin before he raises up and pulls his shirt over his head.

my hand skims his beautiful skin and toned abdomen. his hands pull my tank top over my head and throw it elsewhere in the room. i manage to flip us over and i now straddle his waist. "i've missed you so much more." i say in a soft undertone against his lips before crashing onto them once again.

we spend the rest of the night loving, caressing, and intertwining our bodies that i eventually forget about the thunder around us. all i can think about is the love that he showers my body with tonight.

end.