how to heal

25

august
hudson, ny
-
him

oh my god
you do think i'm in
love with her.
how?
why?
i shouldn't even
ask questions about
any of it.
i vowed not to do
any of this.
none of the romantic shit.
none of the stupid
lovey dovey crap.
i'm too devoted to what
i'm doing right now,
no one was going to come
along and ruin that for me.
but you...
shit, you might have.
now you're lying there on
the carpeted floor,
drunk out of your mind
as you recover from
the hour before.
your hair is in a pool
around your face,
eyes shut in silence
as you breath gently.
typical of you
to be breathing so softly
that i'm worried
you'll stop altogether.
after a while,
you're conscious again,
at least enough to come
sit next to me.
you're still on the floor,
but your fingers are
intertwined with mine as
we sit there in silence.
they're warm against mine
and i can't help but
run my thumb over your
knuckles.
they're white,
like you've been holding
onto something too
tightly.
your head is rested against
my thigh and i
can't help but smile.