Disarm / Rafe Cameron

12. Burn Out in the Freezing Cold

Sleeping Tiger
chapter xii
warnings: drug use

            LAYNE STAYED IN THE CAR for a while to try and make herself look presentable after crying. Her eyes were puffy and red, and the only sound besides her sniffles was the waves crashing from further out the window. Part of her felt like she should just run onto the beach, jump into the water and let the tide carry her out. Be a part of the ocean and never have to worry about anything every again. It sounded so tempting that Layne caught herself just sitting in silence and staring out the window. She could practically hear the crackling of Matty and AJ's fire in her head, as if they were mocking her, telling her to leave Rafe behind and join the temporary bliss she might know from leaving him in the dust.

But she couldn't. Every time she thought of her life without him, it seemed like something greater—like she could actually be happy, for once. But Layne partly enjoyed the pain that he caused her. She took the way he treated her, because it was how she thought love was supposed to. It was supposed to be hard, challenging. Layne had never been loved before, so how was she to know what it was supposed to be like? He was the only one who saw her—he was all she had.

So she pushed open the passenger door, slammed it shut, and swallowed her sorrow. She took deep, heavy breaths in through her nose and out her mouth. Layne didn't know where this Tyler kid's house was, but she figured if she walked long enough, she'd come across it. Kook parties were easy to decipher from the loud music and the trash on the front lawn. They'd have their maids clean it up in the morning, people like Layne, and they wouldn't have to think anything about it. Layne wanted to know where she went wrong in life to date a kook, and the biggest kook of them all. Rafe's family practically owned Figure Eight, and Layne was only a spectator, a speck of dust in Rafe's life. The only inkling that showed her that he cared was the fact that he got so jealous thinking of her with another guy. She wanted to use his reaction as an excuse to break up with him, but she knew she'd be in his bed later that night, and he would be crying to her about how much he needed her and just wanted to protect her, and keep her all to himself.

She came across the house she assumed to be Tyler's, and tried to collect herself as she realized she had started to cry again. There were kids sitting on the front porch, talking, smoking and making out, and she had to shimmy past a group of girls on the steps that wouldn't move over for her and she nearly tripped.

"Layne!" a voice called out from the one side, and she turned around to see Sarah Cameron sitting with Topper and a few other girls she didn't recognize. They were holding red solo cups and conversing, laughing. They turned around to stare at her and Topper looked like he was smirking at her, as if he knew something that she didn't. "Oh—hey Sarah." she smiled, and the girl stumbled through her friends and came up decently close to her. Layne could tell she was drunk and she smelled of weed.

"What're you doing here alone?" Sarah asked, a genuinely concerned look on her face. Layne shrugged, awkwardly toying with a strand of her hair. "I just...uh, it's nothing. Have you seen Rafe at all?"

Sarah ogled at her face for a bit, placing a caring hand on her arm. "Are you OK? You look like you've been crying." Layne suddenly grew flushed, looking over to the girls and Topper who were still staring at her. She itched the back of her neck, unsure of what to say, and nodded her head. "No—yeah, I'm fine...just smoked a bit too much." she tried to avoid eye contact with Sarah, who was staring at her so intensely, Layne thought she might've seen right through her.

"So have you seen Rafe at all?"

Sarah shook her head. "I just saw him come in, that's it." Layne nodded her head, looking inside the house, as the door was propped open, kids going in and out. Sarah moved in her eye line again. "Are you sure you're OK? If Rafe did something, I'll kill him—" Layne held up her hands and shook her head again.