Disarm / Rafe Cameron

15. You're A Dog, I'm Your Man

You're A Dog, I'm Your Man
chapter xv
warnings: sex

RAFE WAS STILL not a good boyfriend.

Layne knows she should've expected that. That this time, them getting back together, wasn't going to be different than the rest. She was going to have to cope with the fact that Rafe inherently wasn't a good person—which meant he wasn't going to be a good partner, either. But he was loyal—that she could tell—and she could see that he was trying. He was trying to be good, trying to stay clean, trying to be different. Even though it felt like the same, grueling process Layne had gone through many times before, the tinge of hope still simmered in her stomach.

His new thing was calling her "my girl." Layne wasn't sure if it was some sort of possessive thing—because he had finally woken up and seen that maybe another guy might be attracted to Layne, and not just him—and she also wasn't sure if she liked it or not. For the most part, Layne enjoyed belonging to someone. It wasn't always something that had to have a negative connotation. If anything, belonging to someone can feel liberating at the same time. But Layne wasn't even entirely sure if she belonged to Rafe. Most times, she just felt like he was going through the motions.

She hadn't talked to Matty and AJ since Rafe made her delete their numbers. Occasionally, Layne would see them when she would go out to surf in the early mornings and evenings, but if she even recognized their silhouettes she would vanish and go somewhere else.

One day, though, Matty did catch her off guard while she was at one of the walk-up Mexican food trucks that populated the Cut alongside some other places. Since the hurricane, local businesses had started setting up camp by the beach on 22nd Street, giving out food to those whose houses had perished in the storm. Rory and Kurt, despite their house still being in tact, had sent Layne to one Mexican restaurants truck that they ate at multiple times since it opened in 2017.

Layne had several bills in her hand while she read their orders off of her phone. The worker was getting visibly aggravated when she kept mispronouncing the names of the foods. Layne nearly failed out of Spanish in high school.

After she apologized and handed the money, he told her she had to wait twenty minutes for the food to be ready. Layne thought that was a decent amount of time considering the line was nearly around the block. She cemented herself in a spot at an uncomfortable wooden table, leaning over and trying not to get splinters in her bare arms. Layne mindlessly scrolled through her phone, and texted Rafe. He had been pretty good at consistently answering her text messages, now—usually only leaving her on read for under an hour before he responded—and Layne realized why she liked him so much. He knew everything she was thinking before she even said it. He was right—he could read her mind most of the times. In bed, mainly.

Layne hadn't even seen Matty, but heard a table of boys behind her. They were eating burritos the size of infants and dipping chips in guacamole and salsa. She tried to text Rafe to keep her mind off of the enormous amount of people there, and how it started giving her anxiety—because being in big, open spaces with large amounts of people made her feel like she couldn't breathe—and, shockingly, he was helping.

there are too many people on this island

It took a few seconds for his text bubble to go away and his text to appear.

Tell me about it. I wish we could just run away somewhere far and never come back

Layne felt her stomach drop to her feet, but she didn't feel happy. At this point, she was used to his lies and empty promises. But it was nice to imagine that he was telling the truth. That his heart stammered when she replied to his texts—that he looked at the sun and the sky woefully and dreamt of a life for the two of them. Sometimes Layne thought she would marry Rafe somehow. It was irrational—and very unlikely—but she enjoyed thinking about it. Having matching rings (Layne like a simple band) and eventually getting pregnant with his child. She put her hand on her stomach as she thought about it—as if she was going to be sick, as if the baby was already growing in her womb.