19. Goodbye

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Y/N's P.O.V.

"At what time are you leaving tomorrow?" I asked Namjoon as we were preparing for sleep.

"I do not know. In the middle of the day," he answered and laid down in the bed.

"Alright. You'll keep in contact with me, right? Do you have my phone number?" I asked, lying down beside him on my—or now our—bed. I lied on my right side as he laid on his left side, so that we both could face each other. The bed was quite small for us both, but what could we do? He broke his bed. Our bodies were pressed against each other, we were sharing pillow, and sharing blanket. Our faces weren't so close for us to feel each other's breaths, but it was close enough to see each other's faces in detail.

"I do. I will keep in contact with you. Relax." He put his right hand on the top of my left arm, near my shoulder, and massaged it slightly. His movement made me immediately relax, but also made me feel some kind of butterflies in my stomach once again. "Oh, I meant for you to relax mentally after my departure for I will keep in contact with you. However, this works too." He kept massaging the top of my arm. I closed my eyes, relaxing fully under his touch. "So beautiful," he mumbled under his breath. He was clearly talking to himself as it was barely audible, but I managed to hear it because of the extreme silence in the room and the house. But it was also very clear that he was talking about me.

My eyes burst open, meeting the beautiful dark brown eyes of his. "What?" I asked. He was smiling as he looked at me. Although, he was more like admiring me than just looking at me.

"Shhh... relax," he whispered, still smiling, as he gently caressed my cheek with his right hand. "This is the last time we will be like this. Sleeping in one bed, in each other's embrace. Enjoy it while it lasts," he said with a gentle and calming tone. His hand slid down from my face to my back and pushed me closer towards him. He held me tightly, even wrapping his left arm around me too. He buried his head in my neck and I felt him taking a deep breath, probably inhaling my scent. He was giving me a hug. Not any hug. He was giving me a goodbye hug. "I will miss you."

My eyes went even wider, but I slowly wrapped my arms around him too. I slowly relaxed, my eyes going back to their original size. I hugged him tightly, putting my head in the crook of his neck too. "Me too, Namjoon, me too. I'll miss you." He smelled so good. His scent wasn't just good. It was comforting. It helped me fall asleep every night. I just don't know how I will manage to sleep without him when he returns to the castle. His voice, his scent, his warmth, his humor, his politeness, him. I'll miss it all. I'll miss him.

He pulled me closer towards him as he flipped on his back, making me lay on him as we hugged. He leaned his head back, laying on the pillow, so it was no longer in the crook of my neck. However, my head was still buried in his neck. "Could you remain like this, in my arms? I want to hold you," he said boldly.

"Yes. I want to hold you too," I answered. We've never cuddled like this, but it felt good. It felt nice, especially knowing that we both will be sleeping all alone in our rooms after this. I could feel his heartbeat, and I'd be lying if I said that it was slow. It was beating pretty quickly, but the crazy thing is that it was matching mine. Our heartbeats were in sync.

"Y/N," he said in a deep, whispery voice. I unwillingly held my breath after he said my name. His voice was so attractive, especially in the way he just said my name. "Look at me." He patted my head gently. Fuck, he's making me go crazy.

I put my knees on both sides of his body and did the same with the palms of my hands as I pushed up a bit and looked at him. I was basically straddling him, and being so close to his face all at the same time. So close to his lips. My eyes couldn't help but look at his extremely gorgeous lips. I want to kiss them so bad

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