𝖳𝖴𝖭𝖭𝖤𝖫 𝖵𝖨𝖲𝖨𝖮𝖭 ♱ 𝘵𝘭𝘬 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘴

promised to another p3

pairing: sihtric x female! reader | genre: forbidden romance? Angst, fluff | warnings: none that I know of | wc: 6.3k |

synopsis: eight months since everything in your life has changed, and it seems like things won't stop changing.

request: yes

note: I'm so sorry this took so long for me to get out! I was just really struggling on writing this part! This is more like a filler part. I do still hope you guys enjoy it! 

The first week being back in Winchester was hard, actually the first few months being back in Winchester was hard...in many different ways. Mentally you were exhausted, staying up late at night and stressing yourself to sleep thinking about Uhtred, and what he's going through. You didn't even want to think about how emotionally hard it was for you. The guilt you felt, the pain you felt with Uhtred gone and you leaving sihtric.

It was physically hard because you were exhausted. You spent your nights staying up late, crying and thinking about Uhtred and sihtric. And when you did finally fall asleep, you didn't get to sleep for long because Lady Aelswith would make sure you were up so you could join her for morning prayers and breakfast with Aethelflaed.

The fourth month you were tired of being sad, so you forced yourself to leave your room more. It wasn't healthy to lock yourself up in your room and avoid everyone. Matthew was happy to see that you were starting to get better, he had missed you. Matthew was against it at first because he was worried you would get hurt, but the two of you would go on walks through the village of Winchester. He noticed that it was helping you so he kept his worries to himself and just stayed alert.

By the six month you were feeling more like yourself. You still had your moments of sadness; you just now knew how to handle them better. You have started doing many things to distract yourself from your feelings, you did a lot of reading, most of them being books that King Alfred has suggested. You spent more time with Matthew and Aethelflaed, Aethelflaed even joining you and Matthew on your walks. It was nice.

The seventh month is when things started to feel more real for you. King Alfred had been lenient with you for the prior months but now that you seemed more yourself, he wasn't going to hold back. Whenever he had time, the two of you would be in his study, reading and learning more about history. And you enjoyed it most of the time, but when he would bring up Arthur and your future with him...your enjoyment turned to dread. You didn't want to talk about Arthur and the doom of your future with him. Lady Aelswith would try to talk to you about Arthur too, telling you about her and the king's betrothal and how she didn't like it at first but it was her duty to become a good wife to him. She even offered to teach you some ways on becoming a good wife, and well you couldn't exactly decline. You didn't want to learn how to be a good wife, you didn't want to be a wife in general!

The eighth month was no different.

Throughout those eight months you barely saw Arthur. Then again, you were also actively avoiding the blue-eyed man. It also helped that Arthur was very busy, busy with the king or busy going back and forth from Mercia and Winchester. You weren't complaining. The two of you have talked a few times, well more like he talked, and you just 'listened'. A small part of you felt a little bad for treating Arthur like that, a very small part. Arthur has been kind to you, and you hated it.

The garden in the back of the castle had quickly become your place of solace and solitude. If you went early enough in the morning, you would be completely alone...besides the times Matthew would join you. It was a very peaceful place; you could walk around and look at the flowers or sit at the bench and read...or just sit there and think. Today you were reading.