𝑩𝑳𝑶𝑵𝑫𝑰E ᴅevante ꜱᴡɪɴɢ

𓈈▮Me and him▮

ꗃ𓂃҂𓈈▬ may 24, 1992

I gaze into Devante's eyes, our hands tightly intertwined, as I sit atop him on the bed. I was of course half clothed only wearing panties and a shirt.

"It's going to be hard to hate you when we are around the others." I said as were shunned into silence. Devante licks his lips as he didn't even respond he was just staring at me.

"I don't want people to know. Cause I know if we do be cordial around each other--"

"I don't really about that." He told me making me sigh. "Well I do."

"I don't." Still Devante seemed relaxed, though, as if he had no care in the world. But I wanted him to care, a lot really.

"Devante," I began tentatively, Devante sighed as he gave me a shrug. "Just let me enjoy this. Like enjoy you."

Devante leaned lingered his brown eyes into mine his expression thoughtful. "But." He stopped himself. "But. You right. But I don't can be rude to you like that. anymore, makes me feel weird."

"It didn't stop you before, you acted like an ass to me on my birthday--even though we were sleeping together."

"That's different."

"How so?"

"I was jealous."

"Jealous of what?" I asked clueless. Devante didn't seem to want to get into it since he admitted it but I wanted to know. "Shit is embarrassing."

I fidgeted with his chest as I looked down at his tattoo I slowly stared up, my anxiety not so easily dispelled. "You know you can trust me. Men have feelings show me them."

"I do show you them, I show it out of anger and I show it out of affection." He spoke after me. "Alright. I was jealous of you,"

Me?...what did I do."

"What didn't you do. When we first met you were so to yourself, serious all the time and didn't take my shit. But that's not we're the jealous really came in, it came in when you basically started dating Suge, even before I had feelings for you, I always wondered why you'd go for him instead of giving me a chance. Shit."

"You were such a smart girl before you met him but you dumbed yourself down to fit in his standards."

"I just feel like envy of your feelings for him, you'll do anything for him when he treats you like shit but with me? You just use me."

"I don't use you and I don't dumb myself down for him."

"I'm just telling you how I feel." Truth hurts when something like that is told to you, I was a little offended but I couldn't argue, these were his feelings that he kept inside, I wanted to know and there it was. Right there.

"I think I'm going back to him?" I asked Devante as I kinda wanted to know more, since Suge was on his mind this question longed to be answered.

Devante shrugged stating quiet. "Some women do it, they go back,"

"I'm done with him." I told Devante as it came out as clear as ever, but from his eyes I could tell he didn't believe me.

I leaned down slowly and placed a kiss on his lips, I backed out of it a little more. "I promise." I repeated over and over. But it felt like I was trying to convince myself more then devante.

—-

Suge open the front door and step inside. He stands there, looking uneasy. We exchange a brief glance, but I don't pay much attention to his demeanor.

I walk past him, making my way into the living room. There, I spot Suge's little  company - Michel'le sits on the couch, seemingly at ease. My heart tightens with anger, but I suppress it. I wasn't mad. It proved something to me.

She tried to play it off. "Hey Serenity." She waved at me.

I ignore her greeting, my focus solely on containing my emotions. Without a word, I decide to retreat upstairs. I need to pack and distance myself from this situation.

I head up the stairs, my steps deliberate. The anger that's been simmering threatens to boil over, but I remind myself to stay composed. As I reach my room, I pause, my hand on the doorknob.

Taking a deep breath, I open the door and step inside.

I begin to pack my belongings, folding clothes and placing them carefully into a suitcase.

As I work, my thoughts race. The image of suge and Michelle'el together is hard to shake. I can't help but feel a mix of hurt and betrayal. Memories of our time together flood my mind, making the task of packing even harder.

After a while, my suitcase is nearly full. I sit on the edge of the bed, staring at the half-packed bag. The emotions I've been suppressing threaten to overwhelm me. I clench my fists, trying to regain control.

I cursed a few times under my voice but got myself well together, after packing my bag peacefully,

I make my way back downstairs, the remnants of my earlier panic still lingering in my mind. As I descend the staircase, I was met with an unexpected sight. Suge stands at the front door, saying his goodbyes to Michelle, who looks like she's about to leave. Took her long enough but she was leaving, I saw as he placed a kiss on her cheek, saying his sweet goodbyes to her.

A mischievous chuckle escapes my lips as I take in the scene. Deep down, I may wanted to confront Suge for his involvement or why she was even here, but I decided to let go of that anger, at least for now.

I watched as she left awaiting for that door to shut. "Bitch." I though whispered under my voice

With my suitcase in hand, I resist the urge to drop it dramatically and make a scene. Instead, I continue down the stairs, placing the suitcase down by the last step before making my presence known. When Suge turned around it was like he was preparing to hear my mouth.

"Fucking your producer's girl too huh? Ya dick ain't itching yet?" I chewed on my gum as I said. "You ain't got a clean record either."

"Yeah cause I have one side Nigga not a whole neighborhood that work at my label, but you do you boo." I laughed it off, of course I was bitter but it didn't matter, the more I made it seem as I didn't care the more I knew it would get to him.

"You just want to knocked the fuck out again huh?"

"Do it. You would be less of a man, you let a woman hurt your feelings so bad you have to put your hands on her. Hmm uh Hmm." I got more smart. "Your lucky I didn't go to the fucking cops, cause one violation on your record and your ass is sent to prison, no more death row and no more hoes for you miss thing." I shook my head.

But he didn't care, he only chuckled and moved on, "you'll be back." I heard him muttering. Infact when he said I picked up my suitcase and walked right out the door.

Not going back

"You know this song is tifflin right?" Vanity read as she looked at me. "He might being doing you but he's thinking about me? I know he's my man he's holding my it feels good when he calls my name? Serena do you know this about a girl who lets a man cheats her and she takes back, it's delusional."

Authors note
Writers block