To Skin A Lamb

12

CHARITY

As I said, I genuinely believed that Cash and I's friendship would last for years. There was something so authentic about him that I couldn't help but be attracted to.

Not romantically, but platonically. Like moths and lights or magnets and iron. Connected.

I liked the fact that I had people to count on while being on foreign lands. Phoebe was a confidant that I could also count on. She was someone I could talk about with girl stuff. I got to talk to her about my period troubles and how the heat was making things worse. She agreed and even told me how her acne was out of control.

I could count on her for that, but I feel like Cash can relate to me. He grew up in a household with a family who doesn't necessarily understand him. We weren't similar in that way, but I think he at least feels like people put him on a high pedestal and they are waiting for him to fall.

I also had Terrance. I knew that even though I didn't want to admit it out loud. Not to him at least. Maybe to Cash.

"I think I could like Terrance." I said, looking off in the distance while we sat together on the beach.

I saw the way Cash looked at me through my peripherals. He had a small smile, but played unassuming. "What do you mean, you 'could like Terrance'? Don't you two get along already?" (48). He played dumb.

I looked at him with a death glare until he finally started laughing. He seemed to be the only human outside of my siblings to not be intimidated by me. It was so refreshing.

Terrance wasn't intimidating either. But as I said, I didn't want to admit certain things to the open.

"Romantically." I finally confessed, my voice projecting more to the wind rather than my friend.

"And why is that such a taboo thing?" He questioned, leaning over and nudging me a little. "Isn't that normal?"

I nodded my head slowly. "And that's the thing. I've never experienced things that should be normal at this age. I haven't kissed anyone or even held hands with anyone." I sighed, looking at the water with jealousy. If I was water, I wouldn't have too many expectations.

Cash leaned over, kissed the side of my head and then grabbed my hand. "Done and done." He chuckled with a handsomeness that he always showcases.

I rolled my eyes and smiled.

"That's not what I meant."

"Yeah, but that's how easy the act is. It's not as major as people make it seem." Cash reassured me, holding our locked hands in his lap. "Things can be simple."

"Maybe so." I smiled a little. "But I doubt it."

"Me too, but I had to try." He casually shrugged. I pushed him over and ran towards the shore with a playfulness I hadn't expressed in a long time.

Cash accepted my behavior as a challenge and quickly stood to his feet, chasing after me. I ran into the water and right before I had the chance to reach down and splash him with it, he was already right on my tail. I squealed in excitement.

He grabbed my waist with both arms and spun me around. I couldn't help the laughter that erupted from me. Cash held me over his head and then dunked me down into the water.

When I resurfaced he was standing there with a proud smile. I was soaking wet and determined.

I jumped towards him and tackled him into the water. We both emerged into the water again.

At that moment, I felt like I was with Justin and we were doing what we always do. At that moment, I didn't feel so homesick.