To Skin A Lamb

9

TERRANCE

The next couple of weeks went by so fast. Everyday I missed my younger siblings and hated the distance between us.

I was so used to them being a part of my daily routine that their absence screamed the loudest. Not the comfort of my bed, not the food, but the children I basically raised from birth.

I missed my younger sister, Louise (Lou), complaining about me showering too long and using all the hot water.

I missed my younger brother, Kohl, fighting over who controls the remote.

I missed them so much it hurt.

"Everything okay?" Charity asked, looking down at me on the floor. That was the first word she has said to me in two weeks that didn't revolve around work. I was almost taken back by the sound of her light voice.

I didn't realize I was wearing my emotions on my sleeve until she called it out.

"You look sad almost." She frowned and furrowed her brows. "I don't like that feeling."

"What feeling?" I questioned.

She tilted her head to the side and answered, "The feeling that you are alone."

Her words punched me in the sternum and jostled my thoughts around. I did feel alone, but I didn't realize she would be so aware of my feelings. That spun me for a loop.

"Oh," was all I could manage to say. My thoughts started screaming at me. (30)

She smiled a bit. "I know I'm a bitch, but if you want to talk, we can do that. I'm good at listening sometimes"

"Sometimes?" I raised my brows with amusement.

"Sometimes. Sometimes, I'm really bad at listening." She pulled the cover off and slid down to the floor. She pressed her back against the leg of the bedframe and then brought her knees up to her chest. "I'm good at it tonight though. So I can listen all night."

My small smile started to grow by the second because I don't know if anyone has ever taken the time to acknowledge how I'm feeling. Sometimes when you are happy others think you are incapable of feeling shitty.

I have a plethora of reasons to feel shitty.

Glass.

Screaming.

Louise hurt. Crying. Blood.

I nodded my head. Just because I have reasons to wallow doesn't mean that I do. But some nights, the pressure builds up too high and I want to just break. The feeling of my siblings not being near is the main emotion that can cause the dam to break.

"I feel like you are going to make fun of me because it's pretty lame." I sat up and got comfortable.

"Tomorrow for sure, but tonight I'll validate your feelings." She teased me, leaning over and patting my leg. I stared at the place where her hand touched me for a long time before continuing.

"I have never been this long without my siblings. It's such a... lonely feeling." I nodded, looking down at my lap. "I didn't think it would feel this-"

"Empty?" She asked. I looked up at her and saw her sincere expressions. She looked like she could relate to my exact words.

"Yeah, exactly that." I blinked a couple of times. "You must have siblings?"

She nodded her head with a faint smile. "I'm the oldest."

"Me too." I smiled a bit too.

"How many? What are their names?"