always been you- outer banks jiara fanfic // EDITED

reunion. 4

jj pov:

i run up the stairs and walk over to sarah who's steering the wheel. "what was that?" i say to her. "that wasn't because of.." i say. "no.. well not fully. she's been through a lot the past few weeks. i mean jj she got told she was gonna get killed, and she practically watched portis get killed. she's spiralling, her heads full right now and i think what just happened with the two of you topped her thoughts over the line. it's not your fault, she's just got alot of anger and sadness that she's been needing to let out for a while now" she says. i nod. cleo and pope come over and sit behind us. "is she alright?" cleo says to sarah. "yeah, she's just been through a lot. i think she's still scared, even though she's safe with us i think she's scared of him finding her again, or us. and she's overwhelmed with everything else too" sarah says. "i still can't believe she got kidnapped dude" pope says. "i know" i say. "i'm gonna go see if she's okay" pope says. we all nod and pope walks down the stairs and out of our sight.

pope pov:

"ki?" i say softly, knocking on the bathroom door. i hear the door unlock and i see ki standing before me. she's been crying, i can tell by the puffiness of her eyes. "oh ki.." i say, hugging her. "are you okay?" i say. "im angry and upset pope, about everything that we've all been through since we started looking for the gold..." she says. "i know, it's shitty" i say. she pulls back. "i don't know how much longer i can take this.. i'm scared pope, he told me he was gonna kill me", her voice cracks. i look down. she takes a deep breathe. "but i'll be okay. we've all got each other. we've got shared trauma" she says, holding her hands out and smiling. i laugh a little. "yeah, you know we've got you. you're gonna be good" i say, she nods. i suddenly realise what just happened. ki just spoke about her feelings, i've like never heard her do that. she always keeps them locked up because she doesn't want to us to worry. i'm still upset about what happened before, when i saw them about to kiss... but kiara's my best friend, she's always been there for me. so i'm gonna be there for her, no matter how mad or upset i am.

jj pov:

i'm sitting talking to cleo and sarah when pope comes back up the stairs. "is she okay?" i say. he nods. "she's just having a minute. sarah you were right, she is scared and overwhelmed. i've never heard ki talk about her feelings before, but there she just let them pour out..." pope says. "she doesn't talk about her feelings often because she thinks she needs to stay strong for us" i say. pope nods. i feel shit, like a shit person for not realising that ki was feeling like that. she's always been good at hiding her emotions but i can always tell when somethings bothering her. unless she was doing okay with coping then the kiss thing just pushed her over the edge... i stand up. "i'll be back" i say. i know pope is mad and upset because of what he saw earlier but im more worried about checking on ki right now. i walk down the stairs and to the bathroom. im about to knock on the door when it opens. "kiara..." i say. "if this has something to do with what happened before.." "it doesn't" she cuts me off. "i'm just scared, of singh finding us. i mean, he knew my full name, what if he knows where i live? what if he comes for me..." she says. "i know. but we're not gonna let anything happen to you again" i say. she nods and walks around me to go back up to the others. i follow her. "you good?" cleo says. "yeah yeah i'm fine" ki says. "good" sarah says. after about an hour it's dark and we're close to pulling into a port. the girls are sitting at the front of the boat and i know this is my chance to talk to pope. i walk over to the steps and go up to pope who's steering the wheel. "what's up bro?" i say. he doesn't say anything. "pope, look, i know you think you saw something.. maybe you did i don't know, but nothing actually happened" i say. "you don't have to lie to me bro" pope says. "i'm not lying pope..." i say. "look, i don't want things to be awkward" i sigh. "things aren't awkward" pope says. "oh things aren't awkward?" i say. "no things aren't awkward" he says. "then who's lying now?" i say. he goes quiet. "if you're asking me if i like it.." pope starts. "yeah" i say. "it's not my favourite thing, but you've liked her forever bro. i'm not gonna stop you" he says. i look over at kiara who's sitting at the front of the boat. cleo and sarah are talking but she's looking over at us. she knows we're talking about her. i walk down the stairs as we pull into the port. cleo and pope go to get some food. sarah says she's going to try and get a little bit of sleep, i think she's worried about john b. i am too but she's stressing really badly. kiara is sitting at the front of the boat still. i go over and sit next to her. "you okay?" i say. she nods. i sigh. "is pope still mad?" she says. i shrug my shoulders. "i don't know" i say. she's fidgeting with her bracelet again. "jj..." she says. "yeah?" i say, taking a deep breathe. she looks at me. "about earlier.." "i don't want to talk about it right now" i cut her off. she nods slowly. "ok" she says, as she stands up and walks up the boat.

kiara pov:

"hey" i say as i sit next to sarah. "hey" she says softly. "you okay?" i say. she nods. "just worried about him" "i know, but he'll be fine. he told us to go back to kildare" i say. she nods. "i miss him, this is the first time in like a whole month i've been away from him" she says. "that's how i felt at singh's. i just kept thinking about you guys... about jj.." i say. "have you spoke to him since earlier?" she says. i nod. "i tried to talk about it but he said he doesn't want to" i say. "he's probably just surprised, give him some time" she says. "yeah, i mean i understand how he feels trapped when people get close, like you.." i say. she nods. we both sigh. "he thinks he's not good enough for you" sarah says. "what..?" i say. "john b spoke to him. he says he thinks you deserve better than him and that he's not good enough" she says. i lower my eyebrows and look down and the ground. i shake my head. "why would he feel like that.." i say. she shrugs her shoulders. we sit in silence for a few minutes. i can't believe jj thinks he's not good enough for me. it hurts my heart thinking about that. he thinks i deserve better than him? but then what was that almost kiss earlier? if pope hadn't have interrupted would it have happened? "what do you think's gonna happen when we get back to obx?" sarah says. "i'm probably gonna get sent to boarding school, or wilderness therapy or something" i say. "i hope not. i won't be able to cope without you" she says. i laugh slightly. "i won't be able to cope without all of you guys again" i say. and there's silence for a few seconds. "how about you? what do you think's gonna happen?" i say. she shrugs her shoulders. "i know i'm gonna feel a lot safer without rafe and my dad on the island" she says. i nod. "me too". "but i have no clue what's gonna happen" she says. "shit's gonna suck for quite a while before it all calms down" she says. "that's exactly what i said to jayj before" i say. she nods. "i think we're all worried about going back" she says. "yeah" i say. "hey guys" pope says, coming up the stairs. "hey" sarah says. "catch" pope says, throwing some food at me, i catch it and he throws some at sarah. "so what? did yall shoplift?" i say. "well, i distracted, cleo did" he says. i nod. "pope are we good?" i say. he nods. "yeah" he says. i stand up and hug him. he goes over and sits next to sarah and i look down the boat to try spot cleo and jj. they're below me, sitting down eating some food. "don't sweat it" cleo says. "i feel bad. i don't want to hurt her but she deserves better than me" jj says. i sigh. why is he telling the whole friend group he's not good enough for me? because i don't feel that way at all. jj deserves the world... he's always trying to comfort everyone else and make sure everyone else is happy and he's never worrying about himself. his father has put him through so much and he didn't deserve any of it, but no matter how hard is father upset him or hurt him he was always trying to convince us he's okay because he doesn't want us to worry. jj is one of the sweetest people on earth, how could his father do that to him?... his dad has fully convinced him he's unloveable.. but he's not unloveable. i love him. i love jj.