Lies We Tell

Chapter 10

Aurora

Turning the handle of the bathroom door, I swung the door open only to find Ignazio standing there. Our gazes locked, frozen in a moment of unexpected encounter, me, with my hand lingering on the bathroom doorknob, and him, poised mid-air as if about to knock.

As I stared right into his eyes I saw the concern and worry in them. It felt like the time had gone with only us at the moment. His hand lowered slowly as he just kept his eyes on me. My breath came out slow as I stared right at him. Did he hear what his mother had said? Did he know the cruel words I had to swallow?

"Ignazio, just -," a gesture of his raised hand halted whatever had to be said. It was only then I realized that it was just not us.

Rosa and Laura stood behind Ignazio. I couldn't see them at all with the muscular body of Ignazio in front of me. Lately, it felt like it was only him I could see. 

"Leave," he spoke to his sister but his eyes were on me. the way he looked at me made me want to turn away from him because just like me he could see the emotions swirling in my eyes. 

"Aurora," Laura called out my name looking at me pleadingly. Rosa beside her looked as much as worried as Laura was. I could see in their eyes that they both were worried about what would happen next. I just gave them a small smile because in the end only I knew that nothing would change. 

"It's fine," I tried to reassure them but there wasn't anything to reassure them about. Yet I gave them a small reassuring smile hoping they would forget all of this.

"Why don't you go outside and see the guests?" I said as my eyes looked at Ignazio. "We will just be out in a bit," Laura gave a long stare before sighing and nodding to me. 

"Ignazio please don't ruin the evening. Mom had worked so hard-," Laura turned towards Ignazio with her hand on his arm.

"Laura let's leave," Rosa cut in before pulling on Laura's arm. 

"Rosa but," Laura might have been the eldest but right now she didn't seem to read the situation. "Nothing, let them speak in private for god's sake," she said in a whisper before dragging her. She gave me a sympathetic smile before walking out of the room with Laura. My eyes followed their movement until the door was closed off and I heard the click of the lock. It was only when they had left I breathed a sigh of relief looking at the door.

"You shouldn't have left like that," Ignazio's words fell on my ears as my eyes stared right at the door. Turning my eyes towards him I looked into his eyes.  

"I know," Ignazio's tone was flat. To anyone else, it would almost feel like he was angry but one look into those eyes and I knew that there lurked worry in those eyes.

"They all heard what she said," her words still echoed in my ears pinching me in the heart. Yes, I wasn't her choice but I didn't want to be. Deep down I didn't even want this life but the circumstances have pushed me to be here. Letting go of the knob I walked out of the bathroom to stand in front of Ignazio, invading his personal space.

"Maybe not all of us," his eyes looked into mine without a blink. I just stared into those eyes almost lost in the swirling emotions trying to understand him. Looking away I sighed out, only if it had been easier to understand him. Somedays I wanted to give up but then one good look at him and I realised that I just couldn't.

"I assure you," I paused taking in a deep breath. "All the women here know what was talked about." My hand reached to touch his arm.

"Don't worry," I gave him a small smile. "In all these years, I know how angry she gets," he looked at me with those whiskey-amber eyes and I knew he was fighting on the inside.

"I'm not mad at her," I told him. How could I be knowing that there was no out of this ever? "However some days I wish I could tell her the truth," Letting go of his arms I closed my eyes. Her words did hurt but I hurt more keeping the secrets. Taking a deep breath I tried to gain courage from deep within to say the words.

"I know you are her only son and she longs to see your children," I opened my eyes to stare at him. "But how do I tell her how impossible it is for me when you don't even want to touch me." Taking a step closer my fingers touched his cheek. His eyes turned a little darker.

"I don't blame you, Ignazio," I added as my fingers gently caressed his cheeks. "I know how hard it is for you." His hand moved over mine holding it in place gently.

"I love my mother, Aurora. I will never be against her," I just smiled at his words. "Just like you love your mother, I love mine."

"I know," my reply only brought misery to me. I knew deep down that nothing would ever change. His family came first, his mother came first and so did his business. I was his last priority but he took care of all my needs, all the needs that were necessary for survival and mental peace. Yet there was no place for what my heart desired.

"I wish that things were different," I smiled with pain echoing in my heart. "But if they were different then I wouldn't be ever here. I won't have all that I have because we both know you wouldn't have ever chosen me." I didn't want to hurt him but the cost of it was always going to be hurting me. Nothing would ever change, he would always stand beside her.

Ignazio wrapped his other hand around me pulling me closer. Our eyes locked onto each other.

"I wish things were different too," he said in the same monotonous tone he always did but it was the way his eyes glimmered telling me that he really wanted what he spoke of. "Sometimes I wish for me to be normal to give you all I could, to give you the happiness you deserve." For a second I had forgotten to breathe. My eyes just stared into his without blinking.

It almost felt like our souls were trying to touch each other, to bind themselves building a connection. My breaths came shallow as I felt his touch over my body. His hand over mine other around my waist felt much more than it should. His touch, gentle yet electrifying, sent tremors of warmth coursing through my veins. As if he wasn't holding me but caressing me with his touch, I could feel the warmth of his touch leaving a warm feeling inside me, which grew by every second we stood in that embrace.

"I don't ask for more till I have you beside me," my words came out as whispers. Ignazio was the only reason I held myself together, he had helped me build myself slowly and steadily. When I said those words I wasn't lying to myself. All I wanted was him beside me because with him I could face anything.

All I needed was him, even though I longed for a love that he and I never could share. A love I had once experienced and lost.

Fingers crossed. Please let me know your views. What do you think of Ignazio.