Sub-Consciousness || KNJ✓

Chapter-7.

Her cries were cut short from the way her breathing sounded, hitched and broken. Just like a broken mirror, her soul felt like it had shattered many times yet it wasn't dying, still breathing and keeping her alive.

Her body trembled all along, physically drained, her thoughts were like a dragon's claws, haunting her at night and hitting her with the reality she had started to despise as day passed. She felt horrible within, she felt her soul tearing apart from her own guilt and darkness, engulfing her without any mercy and warning.

It felt like her body was forever chained and her soul was caged, no chances for it to come out and see the brightness again. She was doomed, like some weight falling on her fragile self, too weak and drained to handle it and show that it's not affecting her when it was, it was affecting her greatly, her emotions and feelings which were a turmoil, mental breakdowns and constant fear of not being worth of this try.

She felt as if she was just pushed more down from her real aim.

She was ashamed of herself more and more.

She wanted to kill a part of her everyday.

The only thing which kept her going was this guy who even though she had again pushed him away, he use to return, use to comfort her and divert her mind from every negative thing which will haunt her.

She was angry on herself to how he was able to achieve his purpose with her, she was angry that he had grown to a person she felt close to despite her pushing him away and saying all the bad things she wanted to tell herself.

He was like her shield, protecting her from herself.

Sometimes she hated it and sometimes she felt like disappearing in the ground, to let the earth swallow her existence.

She felt tired.

Her broken sniffles and heavy breathing was the only sound Namjoon heard in the deserted room. He stood there watching her figure crumbled on the bed, crying silently, books scattered around as the blanket was thrown on the floor, room a mess.

She had once again pushed him away, telling him to get lost and let her die alone. How can he say that her hurting like that, hurts him even more then she realises. That her cries and pain were like bullets hitting him in his chest. And she pushes him away without knowing that he's the only one she can rely on.

When will she realise that he was someone only she can see?

Only she can talk to, only she can feel.

Because he would never like to break it to her that he was just in her subconscious mind.

That he was just an illusion she had created by herself.

It concerned him to how her half of the mind was not in touch with the reality. But all he wants to do is comfort her and let her know that he is always there because he's within her all the time.

He knows, a day will come when he have to disappear completely.

And he won't do that on his own, she will be the one to do that.

But that day was anytime soon.

He infact knows his time period of being here with her but she keeps pushing him away which even though hurted him, he was the only one to understand and feel equal pain as her.

Every emotion she felt, he felt and lived it too.

If she felt guilty, frustrated, angry, he felt those emotions too.

If she felt like dying, he felt it too.

If she felt any of the emotions which would be painful, he would feel it too, it would pain him to the guts to be there and feel her every torture.