Sub-Consciousness || KNJ✓

Chapter-4.

There was her inner voice she no longer listened to, just because she thought it's all over and she can never stand up again. The same voice she thought she have been avoiding ever since she have fell and hurted her heart and soul.

Those inner thoughts which were just traumatizing and frustrating, did no good to her ever after she failed. And it was an add on to that, more negative thoughts and more negative feelings which even though she would try to run away from, she just knows she have no strength to fall and stand up again.

One word; expectations.

The more the expectations, the more disappointment.

She had finally made her mind, not to expect much from anyone. Not even from the one she use to love with her whole heart since she was born.

Her parents.

If they can't be there for her in her failure, then she won't expect anything more from them anymore. Infact she shouldn't from the beginning. We humans are always alone, we've come in this world alone, will die alone too.

We are always alone surrounded by the few people which weren't even our choices to begin with.

Coming in this world, we were just grown to the fact that our family is our part of life, someone we can never see hurt or cry because of our faults and mistakes.

But we're humans after all.

Humans comes with disappointment, flaws and imperfections.

We get hurt and we heal.

Life is difficult because we think others are there for us when we forget the reality that it's not true at all, we are alone in this forever.

It might hurt and feel difficult to grasp on, nevertheless we can't deny the fact and also fate.

We have to however accept and except it.

She tied her red combed hair into a bun, wearing her frames and picking up her phone from her messy bed, eyes going towards the back of her hand where the bandage was still on, after her intravenous therapy was over.

Rolling her eyes, she in a snap removed the bandage before tossing it on the floor seeing the place a bit red but she cared less now.

Ofcourse, no wounds were deeper anymore.

And after she had come back home herself from the hospital, getting discharged, she didn't uttered a word, going straight to her room and getting freshed up, ignoring her parents who as expected weren't too fazed about her existence.

And in the shower, she had thought about everything thoroughly, from the beginning to end, having sorted her troubled thoughts and doubts, emotions and feelings, everything which bothered her and made her feel like a trash.

She doubted her existence, her own self, her flaws and mistakes, why was she the way she was or had become? Why was she breathing?

All these thoughts were like a striking hitting her little by little in the shower, cold water gushing down her body, trying to erase every imperfections of hers, to erase her thoughts, to make her relaxed and unbothered.

And after taking a long shower, she changed into some decent clothes, keeping in mind to get herself together and do something about her failure and not just sit there and cry over it.

Now, she was as fresh as the flower which had bloomed on a new day from the sun rays. However even though her appearance was now a bit well, her mind still wasn't and she wasn't concerned anymore for it.