Trust Issues

Chapter 5

To say I hadn't gotten any sleep last night would be an understatement. Whenever I'd closed my eyes, I'd seen Waverly's ragged appearance, the emptiness in her gaze. Worst of all, I'd seen Zander and the twisted grin on his face. I couldn't even begin to imagine what she'd been through. Laguna had been tearful when she'd heard what had happened—or, at least, what I'd seen.

The last I'd heard, Waverly was asleep in their suite. Tears rolled down my face as I stared at the ceiling, watching the sun rise over the water. The truth of what happened remained a mystery, as Waverly had not spoken since I'd brought her back to the palace.

My heart ached as guilt shot through me. As ridiculous as it sounded, I blamed myself for Waverly's capture.

I should have looked out for her more. Maybe then this wouldn't have happened. Jonah shifted beside me, rolling onto his side and meeting my eyes.

His own softened as he put a hand on my cheek. "Hey. Did you get any sleep last night?"

When I shook my head, he gently kissed my forehead. "I know you're worried about her, but all we can do now is wait. Until she feels ready to talk about what happened, no one will get anything from her." His eyes darkened as the last word left his mouth.

I sniffled, taking a shaky breath. "I just feel like I should have done something. Maybe then this wouldn't have happened."

The look in his eyes told me exactly what he was thinking: you can't blame yourself. Yet that's precisely what I'd done. From the moment I'd heard Waverly was missing to the moment I'd found her, I hadn't been able to quiet that voice in the back of my head. "You can't blame yourself." Jonah's words were as earnest as the look in his eyes.

I laughed humorlessly. "Why not? I'm her oldest friend. I should have seen this coming. I should have looked out for her more." Never mind the ache in my chest whenever I recalled the life-changing secret she'd kept from me.

He took a deep breath, exhaling heavily. "I'm going to get dressed and head down to breakfast. Wanna join me?"

I opened my mouth to accept, then shook my head instead. "Maybe in a bit. There's something I need to do first." Despite Jonah's words, I had to see her. Even if she didn't talk (which was the most likely scenario), I wouldn't be able to relax until I saw her with my own eyes.

Jonah searched my face, noting the emotions in my eyes. He knew exactly what the something was, and as much as he disapproved, he knew there would be no talking me out of it. Reluctantly, he nodded, kissing me on the cheek before swimming into our closet. After getting dressed, he left our suite, shutting the door silently behind him.

When I saw the door shut, I was out of bed and heading into our closet. As much as it terrified me, I had to see Waverly. My hands shook as I left our suite and swam across the hall. I paused in front of their door, taking a shaky breath and swallowing past the lump in my throat. The knock reverberated through the silent hallway, but I didn't react.

It took a few minutes, but eventually, the door cracked open, revealing a face weary with fatigue and worry. Laguna blinked several times before focusing on me. "I'm so sorry," I whispered hoarsely. Just like her daughter, for those first few seconds, it was like she hadn't even noticed I was there.

She shook her head to clear it, her eyes widening as she pulled me in for a hug. "Has she eaten or said anything?" That, I realized with startling clarity, was the real reason for my visit. I wanted to ensure Waverly hadn't made the same mistake I had—isolating herself from her loved ones. I cursed myself when tears filled my eyes, spilling down my cheeks before I could swipe them away.

Laguna shook her head again. "No. She came back yesterday and immediately shut herself in her room." Upon seeing the expression on my face, the unspoken words in my eyes, she squeezed my hands. "Oh, sweetie. None of what happened is your fault. No one blames you. Waverly would never blame you."

"I just keep seeing that blank expression on her face, the hollowness in her eyes. Zander could have just as easily killed her—why didn't he?" It was the one question I hadn't dared to consider, never mind voice, until now.

As my voice broke, something inside me cracked just as violently. Laguna reached for me just as I began to falter. I knew the image of Waverly minutes after I had found her would never leave me, nor would the lasting feelings of guilt and shame. It was like I'd been looking at a shell of my friend. She was trapped in a seemingly never-ending spiral of shock and grief and anger—just like I'd been after Jacob's death.

She held me tightly as I cried, letting out all the pent-up emotions trapped inside me since the news had broken. My breath caught as I remembered the other piece of this life-changing tragedy. With a shaky breath, I pulled away and met her eyes, refusing to let any tears fall. "How long have you known Waverly was a Siren?"

No sooner had the words left my mouth than she appeared. Whether she'd heard my words or simply my voice, I had no idea. Regardless, there she was, her ripped clothes rumpled and blank eyes looking at us without seeing us. I had to fight back the sting of tears, choke back a sob as she looked from me to her mother. Neither Laguna nor I spoke.

When Waverly finally spoke, her voice was hoarse and broken. "I remember his smile most of all—cruel yet filled with glee." She didn't need to elaborate; we all knew who he was. "I'm not sure how long I sang; I collapsed behind a rock in front of Pelathas' entrance, confused and dizzy. I don't remember anything after that until waking up a few minutes before you found me, Faye.

"I hadn't even known I could sing before that moment—had never even considered it, honestly. But the words poured out of me, despite having heard the tune only once, just after my 17th birthday." I couldn't help a small, shocked gasp at her words, one she immediately noted. "At the time, I had no idea who Kailani was, much less the history of the Sirens. I figured I must have been going crazy."

Whatever control she'd had over her emotions up until that point crumbled as the words left her mouth. She was sobbing openly now, her raw heartbreak at odds with her blank expression. "He'd stayed out of our lives for so long; I couldn't help but think something was wrong with me. I mean, why else would he deliberately keep Kailani from us for so long?"

The raw, unchecked pain was evident in her voice—again, at odds with her blank expression. "When Zander suddenly showed back up, I was terrified. He had so much hatred for Sirens; I didn't even want to consider how he'd react if he knew they were his daughters. I bet even Kailani had kept her true nature a secret from him."

She shuddered as more tears slipped down her cheeks. "He didn't physically harm me; besides binding my hands so I couldn't escape, the torture was purely mental and emotional. I hate him. I hate him so much."

Sobs drowned out the rest of her words—loud, heartbreaking sobs. I could feel the waves of fear and pain all but radiating from her. Wordlessly, I swam to my friend and gathered her in my arms, holding her tightly. Her agony cut deep inside me, ripping open a wound I thought had long since healed. Before I knew it, I was crying as well.

Even though our situations couldn't have been more different, we both struggled with emotionally abusive fathers. I wished more than anything that I could take that pain away from her. She was the happiest mermaid I knew; I wasn't sure if I could handle the aftermath of this dimming that light.

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