When the spring came, I turned 22 and was getting ready to move in with who I thought was the love of my life. I remember, we talked for weeks about how to arrange this, what to do with my father, my dog and a house. I knew he was old and wouldn't agree to move out elsewhere and I truly wanted him to feel comfortable. Thus, Bruno promised me that we'd move quite close to him so that I could visit him everyday and he'd get him a nurse to make sure he's at his best health. Being young that I was, I trusted my fiance to take care of all the hard parts about our moving. My job was to plan my dream wedding he was obviously gonna pay for.
We moved in together by the end of March, the ceremony was scheduled for July. I wanted it to be rose themed, with red decoratoins and multi-tiered cake with strawberry flavour. Around that time we also had our first argument. It was about my wedding dress. I wanted it to be blue and he said there was no way in the whole world he would let me wear anything but white. Even the slightest disagreement caused his outrage. He had such fits of rage at times. He would then throw things around the flat and howl as if the whole world was about to collapse because of the colour of my dress. Such situations startled me, so I usually tried to obey him. In the end, he put me out of my wretchedness and famine, and I felt gratitude and praise towards him. But he only respected me when I behaved as he wished. Therefore, the most crucial desicions were made by him.
I believed his words. How could my precious man deceive me, after all? I moved in with him to this enormous residence with huge garden and a swing. If you were to ask me then, that's how I would describe it. In reality it was nothing more than an ordinary one-storey house with a swing crammed into the corner, a few trees here and there and only four rooms apart from the kitchen. Every village has many houses like this. These standards seemed excessively high to me at the time, though.
The very first day in the house he told me he was going to take Crisp to the veterinry clinic to make sure he's healthy so we won't get any illness from him. I wanted to come with them but he insisted I stay home and cook us dinner. So I stayed. I remember waiting so long for them to go back that I ultimately fell asleep on the kitchen chair with my head on the table. A loud noise woke me up. I didn't even open my eyes he was already standing next to me, yelling that he got me new bed and I'm sleeping in the kitchen. Half concious I went to bed. The next morning I asked him about Crisp.
-Leave it, darling. -he answered with mouth full of bread.
-What do you mean "leave it"?- I was sitting on an armchair, holding a book I was reading. -You were in the clinic, right?
-Yes, I told you that already.-his voice was getting tense.
-So what happened? Where is he? -I was glancing at him, worrying about my dear dog.
-I told you to leave it!- he exclaimed, slamming his thist on the table. -I wanted to drive back home with him but he escaped so I drove around for a couple of hours but he wouldn't come to me. -his voice became softer. -I'm sorry, sweetie. He wondered into the woods or someting, I don't know.- he finished and got back to the breakfast like nothing ever happened.
I forrowed my eyebrows, exhaling. Crisp would never do that. He loved people, well, most of them. How hard could it be to bring him home?
After breakfast Bruno would always leave for work. He'd never told me exactly what he did for living, only that the worked for some corporation. While he was gone I would usually clean the house and cook, sometimes I would go on walks or take care of the garden. I really wanted to be visiting my dad but I actually had no idea where I was.
One time on such a walk I came up to a stranger and enquired him about the location. He said something about Weilgreen so I assumed it was the name of this town. I thanked him sincerely and kept on walking. However, due to the fact there was only one path amongst the fields, my fiance quickly found me on his way from work. His face expressed so much dread when he saw me so far away from our place. He ordered me get in his car and took me home as he called "to safety". He would always make a big deal out of the danger I was in when I would leave home. I never understood why.
Many times I asked him about visiting my dad. I lost Crisp, wanted at least make sure my old man was doing alright. But Bruno never agreed to that. He had many excuses such as "I'm so tired", "nurse says he's fine and doesn't want any visitors" or "it is far away, we don't have enough money". All that was left for me was the damn garden I had outside but even this was so tiny I could barely fit all the vegetables I wanted to seed.
After a month, when I asked him about my father again he finally said something different: "Nurse couldn't take care of him anymore, she has put him in a Nursing Home. He is an ailing man, honey, she tried". So I obviously asked him where he was, then, but he never answered that. Knowing how embittered he could potentially get, I didn't want to add to his troubles and I never asked again.
Another thing I didn't understand was Bruno's reaction to my interest in work. I had mentioned to him several times that I had dreamed of having a career whether it was in journalism or advertising. I wanted to finally enjoy my independence to the full and a new and brighter life. He would just get mad at me and make me feel guilty. Because he saved me from poverty and he carries on with providing for both of us, so that I can spend my days in the garden, reading books or resting. He had wanted me to live a life of a princess, he used to say. And he didn't understand that it was not the life I wanted to have.
Therefore, one morning after Bruno left for work I was so bored, I started drawing on a piece of paper. And then it occured to me to think of some ideas for a storyline about a girl named Lisa who was living in a small cabin in the woods. I picked up a fountain pen and begun writing.
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Lisa. Her days were filled with interacting with animals such as foxes, birds, bears or badgers. She loved singing and dancing among the trees.
Then I stopped for a second. I realized I had to plan a novel first, before actually writing it. So I spend that day engrossed in every book I owned to make sure that mine was just as good. I planned the plot and the characters and I already wrote a prologue. It was such a fun day, you know. Actually, it was the momnet I had realized my whole life has been incredibly boring and I had so much to tell on those pages laying in front of me. It was a feeling one in a kind. I felt inspired and motivated and I just wanted to keep going. But then my fiance came home. I hastly shoved it to the drawer in our bedroom. The one that contained my clothes. I didn't feel like telling him since he wasn't the biggest fan of anything I've done besides dinner.
Two weeks went by, it was the middle of May and I was already halfway with my novel. I would tell you all about it but I swear to God, I forgot. Such a pity, I thought at that time it was gonna be a hit. Anyways, there was this one evening I'll never forget because it was so thrilling.
I was sitting on the sofa in the living room at the time, drinking tea and watching the sunset through the window. For that one moment I was truly at peace. Until I heard a door slamming from the next room and heavy, quick footsteps in my direction. So I turned around, worried about the reason for the agitation of my beloved, who stood in front of me with a stack of sheets of paper in his hand. I momentarily rose from my seat, as I knew full well what he was holding.
-I'm only gonna ask once. What is this? -he hissed hoarsely.
-I was just bored. -I explained calmly, trying to alleviate his madness.
-So what you're telling me...- he glanced at the papers and then at me again. -...is that you wrote a story that is this long just for fun?
I nodded slightly.
-Well, I do not believe you. You see, why would anyone plan a story like that and write so much? -he took a couple of steps towards me, his left hand clinching the pages. -I'm gonna tell you why. TO PUBLISH IT. TO MAKE MONEY. -his voice sounded ominously. -If it was just for fun, you wouldn't care if I burnt it, would you?
-Please, I swear I was just bored but don't destroy it. I won't publish it, I just wanted to do something creative.
-You could have fucking knitted me a scarf if you wanted to be creative!- he yelled.
It was the first time he took a swing at me. I leaned down to avoid the blow. His eyes were inflamed, it was really hard to decipher his acute glare. Fortunately, he rallied himself and passed me by. He tossed the papers into the fireplace and despite it was almost summer, he lit it. I watched half a month worth of work burn down in a spare of couple of minutes. My eyes begun to wept as I heard him say: "Don't ever do anything like that again or you won't be able to escape my hand."
YOU ARE READING
Never doubt your loved ones
Romance"She stood still, listening to his sick theories about her family. She did not want to believe they were serial killers, they had denied it. Rosaline did, at least. And contrary to those promises, this stranger had the nerve to disagree, to tell her...
