𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐃𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐥𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐧 ✯

𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄

Chapter 9
Thursday 29th September, 1994
Whisky A Go Go

"Are you gonna be a wimp, Lars?" Liams just brought in a new batch of cocaine for the band.

Ever since we've come to America the drug use in the band has gone up.

And by about at least eighty percent.

I won't lie, it is making me mad and i'm disappointed in everyone but i was kind of expecting it at some point, I mean, being in a rock band? There's always drugs, isn't there?

I'm not surprised at Liams actions, backstage at a show, not long before we go on stage, he's probably wanting a buzz, same with the rest of the band.

Liams already pouring out lines onto the table in front of the fancy hollywood mirrors.

I squint my eyes at it, it looks a bit shiny and twinkly "That doesn't look like coke." I murmur, unsure myself.

Liam looks up at me "Huh? Are you on something already? It's cocaine, Lara. Don't be daft,"

"Yeah its just coke, Lara," Bonehead agrees, moving over to Liam to help him with the many limes they are preparing, then Noel too.

"Christ, how many lines do you need?" I ask, my mouth agape and almost on the floor.

"Are you gonna have one?" Noel perks his head up, looking at me trying to tune my bass.

"Me? I don't do drugs."

"You used to earlier on." Tony perks in.

"Yeah, go on Lara, just like we used to, have one." Bonehead tries to persuade me.

I sigh and feel myself giving in for once. A couple of lines one time wouldn't really be that bad would it? I mean i'm being left out having my whole band on drugs and then there's just clean and sober me, it's getting boring so i might as well just join in. We're in America anyways.

I lift my bass over my shoulder sit it down beside me "Oh fuck it, gimme one."

And the band gives a little cheer.

Liam starts tipping out the shiny white powder onto the table just as the very words leave my mouth and I crouch down beside him, our chins popping above the table like two little kids treading water because their feet can't touch the bottom.

"Ladies first," He puts on a posh accent and I give him back a thank you in the same voice.

It's quite a big line, but I don't think twice, just as I used to live, I lean closer to the table, my eyes damp with anticipation, and bam, the edgyy but relieving feeling as I inhale the powder, bitter taste in the back of the throat and then the gust of relief, me leaning to the side into Liam, whos big eyed and curious as to how im feeling, as the sweet old punch hits me square in the heart.

Pure pleasure.

I let a smile form into shape on my mouth,

I try not to sneeze and squeeze my eyes shut then wide open whilst Liams patting my back cheering me on.

Oh this feels weird. Different. Maybe it's because it's been so long?

"So? How's it feeling?" Liam speaking to me, wide grinned.

I blink a few times snorting up the open air trying to clear my airway "Good, yeah..fuckimg great."

And then that gets the rest of the band stuck in.

But only now as i'm sitting next to Liam, daydreaming off does it really kick in, I'm leaning over the table and I feel as if I might be whoosed straight onto my back. My hands are tingly, clutching the edge of the wood that makes up the table, and my brain feels as if it's getting polished and cleaned. What the fuck. It's like there's clean warm air flowing through my whole body. I run my hands on the table and try to feel something other than the spasms active in my muscles, maybe the cold stone surface or the powdery consistency of the drug I have just consumed.