A New Beginning

Trip Down Memory Lane

-Earlier that day-

*MOM'S POV*

Where the hell are my bill and Tom? They've been gone without a word for so long. They must have gotten in to trouble because they aren't answering their mobiles. I've been so worried i could hardly focus. I sit in the kitchen on a barstool with my mobile in front of me just in case they called. I also had one already downed bottle of alcohol and another on its way to being like the other sitting in front of me.

I would always drink and smoke when their dad beat me. It's my coping mechanism and alcohol being that for me made me a drunkie. So since Tom and bill have me worried shitless I've relapse but it's getting worse and worse. I could drink for hours and still feel like the alcohol wasn't working. One chug, another chug, And another that follows the last one over and over. DAMN THOSE KIDS! I try and try but it's never enough for them. I wanted to give them a better life and they've fucked it. I always blamed myself for being such a physically unstable drunkie and letting their dad hit them. It was always as if I couldn't think straight because i was drunk out of my mind 24/7.

I started crying once i heard a knock at the door. I jumped up from the barstool ready to yell almost tripping many times because I was so drunk. I practically yank the door open and begin yelling before I even see their faces.

"Where the fuck have you guys been! I've been so worried!" I managed to blurt out in a loud slow tone due to all the liqueur hitting me all at once. I finally managed to open the door fully to see my living nightmare right in front of my face. I froze I couldn't move, he pierced he devilish eyes into mine.

"H-H-Hans... why are you... here." I stuttered getting my words out, face full of fright.
"I mean if I pay my kids a visit, then of course I have to pay my lovely lady one too." Hans grinned while letting himself in closing the door behind him. All I could do was back up slowly, it's like I couldn't physically run. There's no point in running he would just find me and beat me more.
"Where ya going? I just got here." He said pulling me into his grasp to put his lips to mine. It was a hard kiss, even if I wanted I wouldn't have been able to kiss back.

He yank back off my lips then completely slapped me as hard a he could leaving me to plummet to floor. God I knew what was coming it was like a trip down memory lane. It only get worse from here.

He started picking things up and throwing them before coming back to me and picking me to my feet. He threw me at the wall while he spoke again.
"So you think you can run away..." he said grabbing my hair and starting to drag me. "And you think you take my kids away..." he spoke again. I tried grabbing stuff to hold onto but they only fell over and didn't help much. "And you think you can turn them against me!" He said now yelling at the top of his lungs. Oh I was dead for sure...definitely. All I could do is cry and wish to see my sons before I died.
"Oh you've got it coming for you because you fucked with the wrong guy!" He finished.

He stopped dragging me and just watched me cry. Then he just lost it, he started punching every aspect of my body with every punch connecting. I guess I wasn't giving him much of the reaction that he wanted so he resorted to kicking me right in the ribs. Oh I felt every kick taking a year off my lifespan each strike. I felt so sick, I felt so dumb, but worst of all I just missed my kids.

He stopped to watch me squirm and groan in all the pain he'd just caused me. He just laughed and laughed and I felt so powerless. He walked away and out the door leaving me leaking. Surprisingly he didn't kill me or do much more. I couldn't get up, I couldn't move, I couldn't even hardly breathe. I was coughing up blood and crying the little tears I had left.

Did I seriously deserve this. Yea I liked him so much to have kids before but he turned on me. Why did he turn on me? I thought he loved me but it was all a trick to deceive me. He made me had myself, hate my life. He made me want to end it right here right now but I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it because I have kids. Kids who would become worse then their dad if they're mother wasn't there to stop them from letting that happen. I couldn't let them join a gang like Hans wanted them to. What kind of mother would I be? I know I might not be the best mother but I would never give my child the okay to go kill others. I would never give my children the okay to set themselves up for death.

If I would have let Hans consume them completely, that wouldn't have the beautiful souls the have now. They would become as dead inside as their father. Only difference is they would not have known what they got themselves into because they were so young. Hans knew exactly what he wanted to get his kids into and it's sad. Ive seen the things Hans and his men do to other gang members and it's so inhumane. I could puke at the thought but I've seen it so much when I was stuck with Hans I'm basically immune.

All I wanted to do was protect my kids from the life their dad wanted to curse them with. All I wanted! But it seems I'm just a weak powerless bitch that will never be more than just a drunkie.