Within These Walls

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

As Louis began moving further into the hall, a few of those who sat within the circle turned to let their gazes wander over him. Louis recognised only one of them: Clarissa.

"Louis," she said, getting to her feet as Louis got closer to the group.

Her tight, black curls barely moved as she stood up, though her half-moon glasses slid down her nose and she moved to push them back up again.

Louis was surprised she recognised and remember him, considering how many people must have come though since the last time Louis had come. Not to mention how much Louis had changed within the two years since his last visit.

His hair was certainly longer, falling down past his ears and he was now much closer to the eighteen years of age he had claimed to be. Not to mention the glasses he was wearing usually threw people off when it came to recognising him.

"Hi," Louis muttered, coming to a stop only a few steps from the circle, trying to ignore the eyes sweeping over him.

"Would you like to join us?" Clarissa asked, gesturing toward one of the free seats, and Louis nodded.

Walking between two of the members, Louis moved across the circle and sat in the chair Clarissa had pointed to, and he shifted his attention back to her as she also sat down.

"Okay, so, uh, Marianne... you were telling us about a party you went to last week. How did you handle that?" Clarissa asked one of the women sitting opposite Louis.

She was an older woman, wearing a colourful beanie with strands of grey hair poking out of it. She smiled at Clarissa and gave her a small nod before speaking.

"It was my sisters sixtieth. So, it was slightly over-gratuitous, being a milestone and all. I contemplated not going at all. I knew there would be drinks there and many people getting intoxicated, but I knew I needed to be there for my little sister. After all, it's been. Rough couple of years."

A few murmurs ran around the circle, and Louis looked to see a few of them nodding as though they knew exactly what Marianne was talking about.

"How did you feel being in that environment?" Clarissa pressed, and Marianne gave a small shrug.

"It was the first time I've put myself in that position since I stopped drinking. There's no alcohol in my house so there's never any temptation there but being there... all I wanted to do was go and poor myself a drink."

"But you didn't?" asked the man sitting next to Marianne.

"No. No. I thought of my grandkids. I remember rocking up at one of their birthday parties barely able to stand. There isn't much else I remember about that day, but I can't do that again. I know I can't be that person. And, my God, it's hard."

Marianne chuckled at her own words, though Louis could sense there wasn't any humour in it. A few of the others within the group shared the small laugh, though they all had the same quality.

"I don't think there isn't a day that I don't want to sit back and thrown down a drink. But... I know if I do one, I'll do another. Then I won't stop."

"What's the feeling like?" Louis suddenly asked, not being able to stop himself before the words spilled into the air. "Sorry."

He wasn't even sure what the question meant. But he wanted to know what the pull felt like. He wanted to know why his aunt could never stop.

He also needed to know what to look out for. Louis could still hear Sam's words ringing in his mind and his worried voice scared Louis would wander down the same path Monica did. Louis had no doubt in his mind he wouldn't, though, he couldn't stop thinking about it.