Within These Walls

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

The night pressed on as Louis' heart pounded more ferociously in his chest with each step he took. His mind filled with flashes of the past and thoughts of what his future would hold.

Not matter how hard he tried he couldn't clear it. He couldn't seem to shake the feelings that came along with everything clouding his mind.

The wind began to pick up as Louis took turn after turn, making his way down familiar streets. The cold air causing his face to feel numb and his fingers to begin to ache. He plunged his hands deep into his pockets in the hopes they would find some warmth, though the cold air seemed to pass through his clothes as if they weren't there at all.

Pushing forward, Louis kept his eyes trained on the pavement beneath his feet. The cracked and crumbling concrete was an indication he was getting closer to his destination.

The closer Louis got to where he was going, he could feel his breath becoming more laboured and seemingly catching in his throat with every step he took—and he knew it wasn't because of the walking.

His heart raced with every meter he moved, and he could feel his stomach trying to plumet through the ground beneath him every time he swallowed.

Louis looked around as he soldiered on through the dimly lit neighbourhood, squinting through the darkness at the few houses lining the street and seeing most of them had turned all their lights off.

It was, of course, getting late. Though, Louis didn't know how late it was. He hadn't bothered to look at his phone. Not since he walked out of Sam's house. He knew he should be keeping track of the time as he still had to make his way back to Sam's house, which was getting further and further away with each step.

Though, Louis didn't care about it too much. At least, not right now. He was more focused on trying to clear his head as best he could, though, he was struggling immensely with accomplishing it. Looking at the houses around him only fuelled his own memories and thoughts of what were.

Of course, where he was going wasn't going to help at all. In fact, it was most likely going to send Louis' mind into overdrive, but he knew he needed to go there.

He remembered what it felt like the first time he was there. The emotions he felt were overwhelming, but there was a sense of comfort. A feeling of knowing swept over him and, to him, it seemed as though everything was going to be alright—that he was going to make it.

Regardless of what it may do to him on this night, he needed to try to recapture what he felt then because right now all he could muster was hopelessness. Knowledge that the one person who was supposed to care for him and look after him when his parents died didn't.

He had spent endless nights when Monica was alive convincing himself, she loved him. Trying to persuade himself that everything that was happening would pass and she would come around.

Though now, walking in the briskness of the night air, surrounded by darkness, Louis knew he had been lying to himself. He knew it was never going to get better but could never admit it to himself. After everything he tried to do to help; no matter what he tired, it was always going to end up the way it did.

It was all in vain.

Louis was struggling to find any sliver of him which believe Monica had loved him at all.

As his feet grew heavier with each step he took, and his mind was weighed down by all the thoughts in his head, Louis felt a vibration in his pocket and his hand twisted inside it to grab it.

At first, Louis didn't pull his phone out of his pocket, letting the vibrations run through his hand, but the continuous buzzing coming from his jeans spiked worry in him, and he pulled it from his pocket.

It was Sam calling him. That was the first thing he noticed. The second was the time: elven-thirty-eight. It was closing in on midnight. It was the reason Louis decided to answer the call. He didn't want Sam calling everyone he knew in a panic over where Louis could be.

"Hey," Louis answered the phone quietly, continuing to let his eyes scan the area around him.

"Hey." Sam's voice was soft, too, and in the background, Louis could hear the whispers of Sam's family. "Glad to hear you're okay."

"Yeah. Just been walking around."

"It's getting late. And cold. Do you know when you're going to be back?"

At Sam's words, Louis shivered. It had been as if he had forgotten how chilly it had been until Sam remind him and he wished he could've shoved his hand back into his pocket.

"I don't know. I'm just going somewhere."

"Where?"

Louis fell silent for a moment, and he could no longer hear the whispers on the other end of the line. No doubt, Sam had him on speaker and the rest of his family were listening.

It was an odd feeling having a family, which is not your own, care about you as much as Sam's family cared about Louis. It was something Louis couldn't quite describe, and while it often did bring him a sense of relief, in this moment it made him wonder what he had done wrong.

If they could care about him so much, why couldn't Monica?

As the silence over the phone continued, Louis finally stopped walking as he reached his destination, looking at the hedges which lined the fence, and the giant archway that stood before him.

"I'm at the cemetery."

"Louis..." Sam muttered, and Louis took in a deep, shaky breath.

He had only been to the cemetery once. It was to visit his parent's graves. Isaac had come with him to meet them, and as they had stood there together, it felt as though everything was going to be okay. In that moment, Louis had known comfort and a slice of peace.

How quickly all that faded.

Now Louis was here alone, feeling his heart threatening to shatter his ribs, the comfort he had felt that day so far away.

"I'm going to come and get you." Sam's voice broke the silence, and Louis shook his head as he stepped forward, moving into the cemetery.

"You don't have to. I can walk back."

"Louis, its midnight and about a two-hour walk. I'm coming."

Louis followed the path as he made his way through the cemetery, the dim lights on the pavement were the only things guiding him. Thankfully, he knew where he was going, though his gut and screaming heart were wishing he hadn't come here.

"Okay," Louis muttered, hearing his own voice shake.

He wasn't sure if it was because of the cold or the tinge of fear which was settling into his bones. The rustling of bushes around him and the sounds of animals echoing in the night made each individual hair on his body stand up.

The shadows which were cast around him by what little light there was did not ease his mind. Every movement they made from the wind almost caused. Louis to sprint at full speed out of the cemetery, not that he had the strength to do so.

"I'll be there as soon as I can," Sam said, and Louis jumped at his voice.

Louis didn't respond, and after a second, Sam had hung up the phone, no doubt rushing around to get his keys and get to Louis as fast as possible.

At this point, Louis wasn't opposed to it. Getting out of this place quicker was becoming more and more ideal. As long as he got to see his parents before he left. He had no idea if being near them would help him. He didn't even know if he believed in the afterlife, but he needed something.

The smallest bit of comfort.

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A/N: If Louis doesn't get a happy ending, I give y'all permission to come kick my ass.

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Question:

Would you go into a cemetery at night?