As usual, the cafeteria is completely crowded with students, tables filled up to the brim within minutes of the bell ringing throughout the corridors of the school. Class 3A tend to all sit together at one large table—Bakugo is sitting by Deku (who has finally come back from his mission with Mirko, likely starting another mission with her in around a week's time), all the girls sitting around him, attempting to converse and ignore the whispers making their way to their ears every time a group of people walks by.
"Isn't he, like, angry all the time?"
"I never knew he was such a player."
"I've seen him in the halls before, all he does is yell and stuff. I can't see how any of those girls would want someone like that."
"I always had the feeling that he'd be a fuckboy."
"Maybe they like rugged guys."
"One or two of 'em, sure. But all of them? There's no way."
"He's obviously a playboy—he's got the ego, after all."
"What a womanizer."
"He's such a womanizer."
"Tch, womanizer."
Bakugo's final thread of patience seems to snap as he slams his chopsticks onto the table, taking a deep breath.
"Momo."
"Uh. Yes, Bakugo-kun?"
"Make me a fucking megaphone," he says, voice burning with an emotion she couldn't name. Nodding, she makes a megaphone, then hands it over to Bakugo. He clears his throat, then stands up.
He jumps onto the lunch table, clicks the megaphone on.
"EXTRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! LISTEN THE FUCK UP."
The cafeteria goes dead quiet, including all of Bakugo's fellow classmates. Expressions of shock, unease, and confusion are scattered throughout.
"To the dumbfucks who wrote that bullshit article about me in the UA newspaper—" he pauses, taking a deep breath before screeching out, "I LIKE DICK, LOSERS."
It's silent only for a moment, before 3A's table explodes with noise.
"Oh my God, what?!"
"Wait, Bakugo?!"
"You're gay?!"
The girls' jaws are all dropped open, hands flying to cover their own mouths from the shock of Bakugo's behavior. People had begun to bring out their phones, clearly recording the entire scene.
"THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT!" Bakugo yells. "I HATE TITS AND PUSSY. IT'S ONLY DICK FOR ME." Bakugo pauses for a moment, then continues.
"JUST TO BE FUCKING CLEAR, THAT'S NOT A FUCKING INVITATION FOR ANY OF YOU LOSERS." He points at Izuku, then shouts out, "I'M ONLY INTO HIS DICK SPECIFICALLY."
Izuku—who was blissfully eating his katsudon and zoning out everything—chokes on his rice, face burning bright red as he glares up at Kacchan, incredulous.
"K—Kacchan!" he sputters out. "That's how you're telling everyone we're dating?"
The room practically explodes with noise; shouts and whoops and hollers and yells.
"YOU TWO ARE DATING?!"
Bakugo grins, looking down at Izuku with a smirk.
"You fucking love it, and you fucking love me, you sappy, romantic fuck. Don't lie to me."
Izuku rolls his eyes playfully, glaring up at his teasingly. "I dunno, Kacchan. I know I love you, but it seems like you only love my dick."
Bakugo snorts, nudging Izuku's shoulder with his foot. "You know that's not true, you're a lot more than your dick. You're sexy as hell. Like a topographical map."
"Please stop swearing at me."
The room remains in absolute chaos, everyone's attention on the explosive blond.
Meanwhile, Mina cackles maniacally, shaking Uraraka by the shoulders. "I FUCKING KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!"
Uraraka lets out a breathless laugh, turning to look at Izuku. "Deku-kun, why is your taste in men so fucked up?"
"FUCK OFF, CHEEKS!" Bakugo yells, "YOU'RE LITERALLY DATING A BIMBO BLOND."
Kaminari makes an incredulous noise. "HEY!"
Jirou snatches the megaphone out of Bakugo's hand, holding it up at her mouth.
"To the absolute idiots who wrote that article, what in good God's name were you thinking? Putting aside the huge invasion of privacy involving taking photos of minors without explicit consent, what made you think that out of everyone in our class, that Bakugo would be the one to oh-so-suavely seduce us? I'm pretty sure he was created on this earth for the sole purpose of balancing out every actual womanizer that has ever existed."
"Fuck off, Ears."
Izuku laughs. "She's not wrong, Kacchan. I definitely didn't fall for you because of your second-to-none flirting skills."
"Oh you fucker—"
The table watches as the two bicker back and forth, wrestling and poking and prodding at each other (and in Bakugo's case, biting Izuku's hand when he tries to cover his mouth with it).
"You know, now that I know, I can't believe I didn't notice sooner," Kaminari remarks.
Kirishima nods in agreement. "Agreed. It was so obvious."
"Anyways." Jirou tilts the megaphone towards the majority of the crowd. "Long story short; you guys are dumb, he's literally so fucking gay, and the closest thing to 'womanizing' about Bakugo is the ungodly amount of Britney Spears on his workout playlist."
Izuku chokes on laughter as Bakugo makes a grab for the megaphone.
"I'M UNFRIENDING YOUR ASS OFF OF SPOTIFY YOU PIECE OF SHIT—"
--------------
A/N: I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.
YOU ARE READING
(wo)Manizer
Fanfiction"Blasty!" Mina exclaims. "Hey babe." She quickly leans in front of him to give Camie a quick peck on the lips. "The girls are all having a sleepover, and you're coming with!" Bakugo blinks twice, scowling once Mina's words process. "Oh hell no, I'm...
