It just felt so surreal how Louis cares now.. I'm not nagging or anything I mean I love it that Lou is finally paying attention to me and he is noticing me now. But I feel he does it because he is scared i'm going to try suicide again..he is scared that i'll die because of him.
I don't want anybody's sympathy.
Right now we were all in my room and the boys were in my bed and we were watching Step Up 3.
"Oh god, I love this part!" Louis exclaimed.
I looked down to my side and noticed him..his feathery hair into a quiff and his icy blue eyes looking at the t.v, his hands intertwined together.. he's perfect. But he'll never be mine.
"You're damn right he'll never be yours, he is just staying with you and being nice out of sympathy Harry he pities you."
I just closed my eyes tight and shook my head to get the voice to go away but it wouldn't it kept repeating the same thing all over again.
" Guys, my head hurts and I want to sleep. I'm sorry I just I have such a bloody headache." I said.
" Do you wan't pain-killers Haz, do you need anything? Are you sure you're alright?" Louis asked worriedly.
"I'm fine Lou, I promise."
They left without saying a word and I actually fell asleep.
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I woke up and it was around 9:00 I started walking downstairs when I heard Louis talking on the phone with Eleanor.
" Babe, Harry needs me right now."
"No, I'm not replacing you with him, he's my best mate you're my girlfriend."
Of course.. i'm just his best-mate.
" El, I just can't stop talking to Harry especially now! I promised him I wouldn't and it'll break him even more if I broke my promise!"
"Eleanor..
" You obviously know I'm doing this out of sympathy. You have no idea how much I want to go with you every single time you call me to go out but Harry is just so clingy and if I leave he'll cut again..and he'll feel lonely and he'll play the whole suicide card again and I can't have that babe. I love you and only you not Harry i've told you this so many times."
I knew it, he never cared about me. It was all out of sympathy...he thinks i'm clingy for fuck's sakes I probably annoy the living shit out of him..!
Well you know what Louis? You won't have to worry about me anymore... i'm not going to committee suicide because you're not worth it! But today is the finally day that I give you shit about you.. I know my heart longs for you but i'm not going to let you cause me any physical pain anymore.. at least not now.
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If Only You Knew (Larry Stylinson)
FanfictionIt hurts to see the one you love with someone else. To see them smiling with someone that isn't you. To see them kiss and hug someone right in front of you and they don't realize that you're there wishing they would kiss you instead. The feeling in...
