If Only You Knew (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 38.

Harry's point of view.

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I've been feeling so bad for not calling the boys especially Louis, I was wondering if he was drinking again, if he was okay, if he felt sad or anything. Ugggh I'm such a bad friend.

Well right now i'm just sitting tracing my scars, I have about like 30 scars on my arm I think and the sad part is that
they're mostly because of Louis.

Besides my scars and the fact that I love Louis, I really do hope he is happy with Eleanor...he deserves to have someone care for him and love him for him and not be judge by it.

I feel so empty without him and the boys, they're like my brothers and I need them. It's already been like 4 or 5 days since I left and I can't handle it. What makes me think I can last a whole month or 2 months. I am so out of my mind.

My phone suddenly rang and it was a text from Niall..

Hey why haven't you called or skyped or anything? Is everything ok?

I was contemplating whether I should answer him or not.

You idiot you better not answer him I swear..

For once in my life I disobeyed the voice and texted Niall.

Yeah Niall everything is fine and sorry I've just been so caught up with everything going on here in Cheshire.

Seconds later Niall responded.. Oh alright mate and it's okay we were just really worried and we miss you, Louis misses you..

Once I saw his name I didn't  bother replying, Louis was probably having the time of his life with his girlfriend.

Imagine if Louis and Eleanor get married, and they have a baby. Because you could never have a baby you fag.. you'll never have a family with your beloved BooBear because he is disgusted by you and everything you do and say..he has a beautiful girlfriend and would never dump her for a fat hideous person like you.

Shutup, shutup, shutup!! I kept punching the sides of my head with my hands and tugging on my hair.

"Harry, Harry dear what are you doing?" My mother suddenly asked out of nowhere.

"N-nothing mom, nothing I just..I was just I don't know but nothing's wrong ok? Everything is fine."

"Are you sure darling?"

"I'm sure mom.."

She came over and kissed my temple and whispered in my ear.."Don't strain yourself over Louis ok? He'll come around and he'll see what he's missing out on."

I just smiled an nodded at my mom. She went back upstairs and into her room.

I shook my head, too bad  my mom doesn't know what type of son she has. And she'll never find out because I can't stand being rejected by my own mother.

I got up and got to my room and just kept re-reading the message..

What if Louis did miss me? What if he really did want me there..?

Don't even get your hopes up, he hates you and you know it!

I sighed.. I know.. I know.