ACHES

23. hurt / like

"I missed you," he murmured, breathing heavily.

"I missed you," I returned, letting him overwhelm my mouth with desperate kisses. He was pulling off his coat, tossing everything from his pockets onto the floor. I laughed into his mouth as he pressed my body to his, his hands firm on my back.

"You're more beautiful each time I see you," his chest was heaving, meeting mine with his inhales. "What are you doing when I'm gone?"

"You're just forgetting," I smirked, and he chuckled. He picked me up, letting me wrap my legs around his waist.

"How could I do that?" He kissed my cheek softly, but quickly buried his face in my neck, groaning. "Fuck, I need you."

I swallowed, my ribcage stuttering as he carried me to the bedroom. I was flustered, unaccustomed to his directness. Usually he enjoyed stretching time, painfully toying with me until I was drowning in need. Now, he had already stripped to his briefs, pinning me to the mattress with splayed hands.

"What are you wearing for me?" He asked, hooking a finger into the neckline of my t-shirt. He pulled it to the side, pressing another finger against my bra strap. "It's pink?"

I nodded, biting back a smile. His tongue flicked over his lip, smiling down curiously at me. He pushed me higher onto the bed, the top of my head brushing against the pillows.

"Let me see, then," he leaned over me, his hands pressed into the sheets on either side of my head. I felt shy with him staring, always unaccustomed to his blown-out pupils when he had been away for a while.

His lips parted, his eyebrows drawing together with impatience. He grabbed the hem of my shirt in a fist, pulling it over my head himself. He groaned, eyes sweeping over the delicate pink lace of my bra.

I could feel my face turn hot as he wet his lower lip, squeezing his eyes shut to break his trance. He was silent as he unbuttoned my jeans, tossing them to the floor. He took a moment to admire my matching lingerie, then brought his lips down on mine.

He was rough, letting his stubble scratch into my chin, digging his thumb into my ribcage. He ground into me, and I gasped into his mouth, head spinning at his desperation.

"Feel that?" He muttered, hard against my core. It was a demand, hidden as a question. I ached against him, reaching for his neck. "Feel how long I've fucking waited for you?"

I nodded quickly, sucking air in through my teeth as he pushed my panties to the side, dipping two fingers into my soaked cunt.

"Fuck," he kissed my cheek, pulling his length from his underwear. I watched his hair fall over his forehead, his gaze focused downwards as he teased the tip of his cock into me. I was dizzy, his whirlwind of attention and recklessness leaving me feeling as if my blood had stalled in my veins. I moaned, fingernails digging into his shoulder as he bottomed out suddenly. I wanted to thank him; finally, finally, finally.

"You can do it," he mumbled, noticing how I reached for the sheets, his arms, anything to ease the sharp ache he caused within me. The edges of my vision grew dark as I panted, letting him rock into me at his own pace. He brought a hand to the base of my neck, restricting the blood flow. I gazed up at him, his mouth open as he gasped with each of his movements. His eyes were heavy, his jaw slack. Shadows cut down his face, his features obscured. He was barely there.

"So good," he breathed, tightening his grip around my neck. "You're doing so good." I whined as he pulled one of my knees to my chest, pleasure twisting inside of me as he moved more carefully, trying to reach the spot I needed him most. My hands were numb, his breath on my skin fading as I slipped further from reality. My chest barely moved, my breathing shallow and erratic. He let go of my knee, grabbing a fistful of my hair instead. His hips stuttered, a moan slipping from his throat as he stumbled closer to his edge. I watched his eyes roll in his skull.

"Where do you want it?" He said, breathless. My mouth opened, but I couldn't speak, no air available to support my words. I was drowning in him, choking on his touch, completely surrounded by his presence. It was perfect.

I closed my eyes, stretching my arms above my head. I barely noticed him come, drunk on pleasure and hazy from the lack of oxygen. My eyes fluttered open to find him above me, sweat slipping down his collarbone. He had finished on my stomach, and was wiping me clean with a towel. I watched him lazily, his lips still slightly parted.

"Fuck," he groaned, laying beside me. "Are you alright?" A wet curl stuck to his forehead.

I nodded, filling my lungs until they burned. I let out the air slowly, my heartbeat racing ahead of me. He turned to face me, propping himself up on his elbow.

He placed two fingers between my collarbones, tracing them up my neck slowly. A stutter caught in the back of his throat, his fingers pausing.

"What?" I asked, so quietly I could barely hear myself.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked, sitting up quickly.

"No," I shook my head, frowning.

"Yes, I fucking have," he muttered, leaning down to look at the base of my neck closely. His eyes were white and skipping over me, the back of his hand pressed against his lips as he stared at me. "Fuck, shit, shit."

"I'm alright," I shrugged, trying to push him away. He grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me to the bathroom. I stumbled behind him, my legs shaking as he placed me in front of the mirror. He turned on the light, standing behind me. I blinked, tracing the splotchy red skin at the base of my neck, purple stains forming where his fingertips had dug in. My pink bra strap slipped down my shoulder.

"Look what I've done to you," he covered his mouth with his hand, looking away.

"It's okay," I turned away from the mirror. "I just bruise easily."

"No, you don't," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm okay," I laughed. "Really. I liked it."

"You shouldn't like that," he frowned. "You're supposed to tell me if I hurt you."

"But you didn't hurt me," I shrugged. His eyes were wet, rimming with tears. I flicked off the light. "You didn't hurt me."

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I wasn't thinking."

"It's okay," I pulled him into a hug, smoothing my hands up and down his back. He held me loosely, barely touching me. Afraid to touch me. "Let's go to bed, okay?"

He nodded, following me to bed. He hid me under the covers, tucking my hair behind my ear and arranging it carefully over my pillow. He lay beside me, facing me, staring at the bruise forming on my neck. I pulled the blanket higher.

"I love you," I whispered, reaching for his hand. He placed his palm against mine.

"Love you."

I closed my eyes, and pretended to sleep when he started to cry.