7 days without you

day 5

2 am and I can't sleep.
My mind is all at you.
You're the only thing on my mind right now.
I think about you.
beeebout hugging you.
Cuddling you.
Kissing you.
Just being with you.
Soon it'll be reality again.
Really soon.
All I want is you.

Mateusz is calling with someone at 09.44 am and now I can't sleep anymore.
I'm tired as hell.
I keep trying to sleep tho.

He woke me up again at 10.20 am and now we're eating at 10.40 am.

12.09 pm Mateusz is taking us somewhere and we have no clue where.
I hope it'll be fun.
OUR PLAYLIST IS ON AGAIN WHOOOOOOOO.

We arrived at 12.40 pm at some parking thing in the middle of nowhere lol.
What are we doing here?
I don't know.
Lmao this is any horror movie scenario >w<
Alright we're just following Mateusz around.
:0 IT'S ONE OF THESE RIDE THINGS IDK THE NAME OF (the picture on top of this day) I LOVED THEM YEARS AGO!!
Nostalgia day is what Mateusz calls today ^^
But that's not the only thing we'll do today idk what more tho.
He said it's a surprise.

01.54 pm it was a lot of fun and we all went full speed.
Mateusz was screaming Waluigi for some reason, Tymoteusz screamed does and I screamed weed but it more sounded like
WWAAAALLLLLUUUIIIIIIIGIIIIIIIIIIII DOOOOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOES
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED
It was really funny.
Once Mateusz and I drove together and he told me to imagine doing all this with you.
For that ride I did imagine that.
Mateusz even shut his mouth for that ride.
I patted his head, literally feeling your hair for a second.
I had your smell in my nose and your voice in my head.
I closed my eyes and imagined you being there.
That ride was the most fun.
Still full speed but with you there in my imagination.
I loved this feeling.
It felt funny(?).
I don't know how to describe it.
It was more fun then not thinking Mateusz being you in that moment.
I had the urge to hold you close and cuddle you but I knew it'd be weird doing that with Mateusz.
I want you not him.
I miss you.
It really would have been more fun with you. <3
You're the only person I have the most fun with.
I can have fun with Mateusz, yeah.
But it won't ever be the same then doing all this with you. <3

04.57 pm and were going back.
We just went to a restaurant but it was nice.

05.30 pm and were going to swim again.
I hope this time will be better.
Mateusz and I wanted to go alone but he came with us for some reason.

08.15 pm we're back and..I JUMPED I DID IT WHOOOOOOO
I even made a new friend and get his number tomorrow maybe.
No need to be jealous tho.
I want you and only you.
He's just a new friend. ^^
I'm glad that I made a new friend.
A new friend in quite a while.
My socializing comes back.
That means maybe someday I might be able to go by train alone again.
Someday.
Takes a while but this was a start.

09.59 pm Tymoteusz gets worse again.
He just said to me that I am manipulating Mateusz just because Mateusz yelled at him alot this week and slapped him a few times.
He was yelling at me for ruining their relationship.
I don't want to be here anymore.
I can't do this anymore.
I want to be with you.
Forever.
I wanna just run away from Tymoteusz.
Leave everything and everyone else behind.
Start a whole new life.
With you.
I can't without you.
I was so close to just take the next train to you.
But I didn't want to leave Mateusz alone with Tymoteusz like Tymoteusz left Mateusz with his parents.
I can't take it much longer anymore.
So Mateusz and I went outside, walking around town and two cats came to us and we petted them and played with them ^^

10.54 pm Mateusz helped me dye my hair blue :D
Now gotta wait 30 minutes.
Then wash out.
Tomorrow we'll see the results.
I hope it'll look good. :^
I mean I already had slightly blue hair and it looked nice.
I just hope it'll look good now too.

I couldn't sleep until 4 am