The sight of you brings a flood of foreign emotions I could not quite name. I look at you and my stare instantly softens as soon as they meet your enchanting amber brown eyes. My heart flutters at the melody of your laughter; my face feels warm at t...
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Naomi stared at me, her expression full of concern, her chestnut eyes focused on my bandaged hands. I had been acting strange lately, and she had noticed bruises on my face; especially the bruise that painted my eye, making my blue eyes pop out a bit more.
She had asked me about them, but I had dismissed it as nothing. The thundering and lightning caused her to move closer to me, the umbrella held in one hand protecting us from the pouring water.
She had been worried about me and I knew she wanted to get to the bottom of what was going on. Taking a deep breath, she stepped closer and spoke in a gentle but firm voice, "It's not nothing. I want to know what happened. Tell me the truth."
I couldn't help feeling a hot feeling bubbling inside me. I can't help but close my eyes shut and tighten my grip around the handle of the umbrella, I grind my teeth against each other as she continues to push me further.
I felt her hands on my shoulder and I could feel her move more closely, almost like she wanted to just hug me or dig deeper. "Just leave me alone, Naomi!" I raise my voice and open my eyes, tears of anger streaming down my flushed cheeks. I glare at her as she steps back, placing herself in the rain.
"I only want to help you." She mutters.
"I don't need your help. Just go back to ignoring me, please. Go back to dating a bunch of boys who only use you to boost their reputation." Her eyes widen, tears polishing them. I can't help but want to apologize and explain everything to her, but I can't involve her in my fucked-up life. I don't want her to get hurt. The rain poured down as cars continued to pass by, our parents probably struggling to see anything due to the rain.
The silence between us is thick as the droplets of rain hit the pavement floor. After what seemed like 10 minutes, a sleek black car pulled up, I could make out my father seated in the front seat even though the windows were tinted, but not too tinted. I close my umbrella, letting the water pour on Naomi and myself.
I rushed towards the door of the car and got in before closing the door. I looked out the window and saw her looking down at her feet, the rain droplets sinking into her afro and running down her arms. The droplets complimented her dark skin, it enhanced her beauty a bit more.
My father drove off, not bothering to maybe offer her a ride home or anything. My wet umbrella stayed on the floor of the car, and I leaned my head against the window and just slept. The warmth of the car was nice.
It's been 2 weeks since then. I'm seated in class, my eyes glaring out the window. I can't wait for this week to end; it means I can finally get these bandages off my hands. I'd been avoiding her for those weeks, and the feeling of guilt filled my veins; I always tried to shove my guilt to the back of my mind while it seemed to weigh on my consciousness like a ton of bricks.
A few more weeks went by, and I glared at the tray of food before me. My hands were okay, but the little scars were visible to all. I sat at the far bench where no one can bother me and I picked up my red apple, taking a bite out of it. The incident still lingers in my memory.
I remembered the shame that had bled into my face when I realized what he had done, how I had yelled at the girl who was only trying to help me. I glance across the cafeteria to see her laughing with a few of her friends. Her smile seemed forced but also it seemed real, it's hard to explain it.
I often felt like I should apologize, but it seemed so hard to get the words out. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. So, I waited, feeling the guilt grow stronger and stronger until finally, I gathered enough courage to reach out to her. I sent her a message, hoping she might forgive me. But to my dismay, she replied with nothing more than radio silence. I felt embarrassed and ashamed, so I just stopped trying.
I find myself walking through the hallways of the school before I come to a halt. I turn to look at the bulletin board. A few reminders of the week and other new news. But there was one poster that caught my eye. 'The Halloween Freak Fest.' God, I hate those things, but my mother always forced me to attend because she wanted me to be a part of something. I shrug my shoulders and continue to roam the halls of the school, my mind still on her.
I still felt terrible about what I had done, and the shame of my actions followed me around like a dark cloud. I hurt her... I should've just told her in a gentler and understanding tone. I wish I could tell her but the thought of what my father would do to me or what he'd do to her... scares me. So, the best I can do is wait for her to forgive me or we'll just move on and pretend we never knew each other.
My days will never be the same because every single day, I look forward to coming to this draining school, just to see her. Just to see her smile at me, to see her eyes soften when they glance at me, her soft hands underneath mine, my fingers playing with her curly hair.
... It's my fault.
I still hoped that one day she would find it in her heart to forgive me. I would just have to wait and see. I'll wait.
