Ashes of Love and War - TodoMomo

||Chapter 32 ~ Part 1||

He was dreaming again.

A lump welled up in Momo's throat as she watched Todoroki's eyes dart back and forth behind his eyelids. His breathing was heavy, almost frantic. And his brow was beaded with sweat.

Momo swallowed thickly. She didn't know what to do.

Todoroki's dreams were getting worse.

When they arrived at the cabin, there had been a great deal to accomplish. The storm had covered the ground in pearlescent white and left temperatures near freezing. With nothing to eat and the cabin in dire need of repair, they were forced to spend the first days mending their shelter and foraging for food.

So when Todoroki had first mentioned his dreams, Momo assumed his unrest was attributable to their new environment and the compounding stress of the last few weeks. However, as a day turned to a week and a week to three, the dreams had grown in intensity and frequency. And now it seemed as though a night didn't go by without Todoroki waking in terror.

Momo watched as a bead of sweat dripped down Todoroki's neck to disappear underneath the front of his chiton. His skin was waxy and pale. Dark circles sat underneath his eyes.

He looked exhausted.

Momo reached out to touch Todoroki, paused, and then pulled her hand back. She curled her fingers into fists. She wanted to comfort him. Wanted to take away all of his fatigue and stress but didn't know how.

Momo's nails bit into the palm of her hands. Even now, she felt conflicted: torn between the desire to wake him or praying to the gods that Todoroki's dreams would go away by themselves.

It was a decision between Scylla and Charybdis.

Todoroki had always been a light sleeper and was prone to foregoing sleep. He wouldn't rest if she woke him now. But if his dreams continued, he'd wake screaming again. No matter her choice, it would be another night without sleep for him.

Todoroki's jaw suddenly clenched, and he moaned as if in pain. Or torment.

Momo pressed her lips into a hard line and made her decision. Reaching out, she took hold of his shoulders as gently as she could. "Todoroki," she said, shaking him.

She had barely spoken his name when Todoroki jolted awake with a sharp inhale. His eyes snapped open. His gaze was disoriented, but his expression was a mixture of shock and fear.

"It's okay," Momo whispered in her most calming voice. "You're fine."

His gaze twitched towards her, and confusion melted into recognition. "Yaoyorozu?"

Momo nodded. "You were having another night terror."

Todoroki blinked. Then he sighed heavily. He flopped his head back onto the bed and looked up at the ceiling. His gray and turquoise eyes were hooded.

"I see." He ran a hand through his red and white bangs and sighed again. "Shit."

His masked expression wavered. A flash of unfamiliar resignation passed over his features. He looked bitter. Wounded. And more tired than Momo had ever seen him.

Her heart ached and shuddered as anguish washed over her. Momo shifted closer and reached out to gently run her fingers through Todoroki's sweat-soaked bangs. "They are getting worse."

Todoroki groaned in what might have been agreement. Then, he turned towards her and wrapped his arms around Momo's waist, burying his face into her, like a lost child.

The corner of Momo's mouth twitched. She slid her arms around him, running her hands up and down Todoroki's back before twinning her fingers through his silky hair and holding him to her.

"It feels so real," Todoroki mumbled against her throat, his voice strained.

Momo's fingers paused in Todoroki's hair. "The dream?"

"Yeah." His hands tightened around her waist. "I'm fighting some sort of golems. But, no matter how many times I destroy them, they keep coming back. Then, when I'm at my limit, I find the person controlling them. I try to kill them but, when I stab them, I realize I got the wrong person. And I end up killing someone I really didn't want to."

Momo didn't say anything.

Todoroki's shoulders shook faintly. "I can still feel their blood on my hands," he whispered, his voice cracking.

An overwhelming sorrow washed over Momo. She held Todoroki tighter. She wanted to pull him into herself. Take away all his pain. Do something. Anything to alleviate his torment, but she didn't know what that was. To tell Todoroki that it was only a dream wouldn't make him feel better. It wouldn't stop his nightmares.

Momo hated how powerless she felt. Todoroki had done so much for her: saved her and Tokoyami from the Athenians, protected her on Aizawa's island, lent her strength to free Ashido. It was unfair that all she could do in return was stay by his side.

If only she could do more.

Momo swallowed hard. "Let me make you tea," Momo finally said, untangling herself slowly from Todoroki's hold. "I was able to find some valerian root yesterday. I should be able to make you some tea with it. It will help you sleep."

"Valerian?" Todoroki repeated slowly. He pulled back and stared up at her as Momo slid towards the edge of the bed and began pulling on her sandals. "I thought that was for rabies?"

"It is," Momo agreed, standing and making her way towards the hearth. "But, you are most likely suffering from your humors being out of balance. Most specifically, your autumn black bile must be troubling you. Typically, physicians say bloodletting, purging, and exercise are the best treatments, but Aizawa said valerian can also help. The root encourages tranquility, and that will help alleviate the cold and dry imbalance within your humors."

"I see. As expected of Yaoyorozu. I knew I could count on you."

Momo's mouth twitched at Todoroki's awed tone. In truth, Momo wasn't fully confident that valerian would help. All she was taught at the temple was how to treat illnesses, not dreams. That was for philosophers and gods.

'Kaminari.'

Her nails bit into her palms.

She still had the wish.

It felt wrong to consider using a wish granted by a god to treat a nightmare, but Momo didn't have anything else to help Todoroki. And if his night terrors continued to haunt him, she certainly couldn't stand by and watch the man she treasured most suffer.

Momo pressed her lips into a thin line. Todoroki would try to stop her, of course. So she'd hold off for a little while longer. See if the night terrors went away by themselves. But if they didn't, even Todoroki couldn't expect her to sit by and watch him suffer forever.