Ashes of Love and War - TodoMomo

||Chapter 33 ~ Part 2||

I'm so sorry for the last chapter! I promise there is purpose for Shouto's scary dreams. 🙈

To make it up to y'all and, because I'll be on vacation for the next 2 weeks and won't be able to post, here is an extra long chapter. ♥️ Hopefully, this holds you over until I'm back on October 8th. 

XXXXX

Shouto felt sick. He dropped his head down to his steepled hands. His skin was slick with sweat. Shouto shivered but ignored the bitter ache in his extremities as he continued to crouch in the snow and tried to calm himself.

It wasn't as though Shouto had never had night terrors before. During the war, there were countless nights he had barely slept because of his dreams. And when he could sleep, he'd wake up sweating and agitated. However, those dreams had never been so persistent or real. It made Shouto wonder if something had happened.

It felt as though a god was involved. Overhaul certainly had a grudge against them, but Shouto didn't detect any magic indicating the god of nightmare's power.

So why?

Why wouldn't the dreams go away?

And what if they never stopped?

What if he ended up hurting Yaoyorozu because he lost sight of what was real?

Shouto felt horror coil inside him. His heart began pounding faster and faster, pulse thrumming in his ears. Since when had he become so weak?

Yaoyorozu was his everything. He'd never hurt her. Shouto swore that. Still, doubt lingered in the back of his mind. He was a son of Ares. What if he was becoming like his old man? Like his brother -

Shouto curled his fingers into a fist and squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to breathe.

He had always been afraid of becoming like his father. He had lived his entire life rejecting his heritage. Shouto had sworn to become strong without his father's blood or blessings. And Shouto had believed he had succeeded. He had truly assumed he was strong enough to balance his bloodline and his feelings for Yaoyorozu without repercussions. But, had he been wrong?

Had he not escaped his heritage?

Or was madness the price for a soldier's love?

'Little brother, women are nothing but a distraction for a warrior.'

A chill unrelated to the cold slid down Shouto's spine. His eyes snapped open as panic filled his chest.

The strong live; the weak die.

Spartan philosophy was unequivocal: women were distractions. A man's true purpose was to be a soldier for his State. Shouto had been taught this philosophy since he was four years old. He heard stories of Hercules and Theseus' failures due to love.

Love made warriors weak.

'Who gave you the idea that love makes a man weak?' Tetsu-Tetsu's voice, thick from the steam of the hot springs, rang through Shouto's memories.

Shouto swallowed thickly. His fingers dug into the palms of his hands until he felt the skin split.

Fukukado stared at him. Her usual smile had evaporated as she met his eyes. 'The best way to win any fight is by having something to fight for. We all need something to protect, Todoroki. I have my men. They'll get me through this, but who do you have?'

Shouto trembled. He wanted to believe in Tetsu-Tetsu and Fukukado. He wanted to believe that he could have both a life as a warrior and his love for Yaoyorozu, but he didn't know if he could. If these dreams — if insanity — was linked to his love for Yaoyorozu, Shouto didn't know what to do.