Seeing Green

Chapter 35: I miss you

Mood for chapter: unconditional - Sinead Harnett ( I think this song explains how coco feels about Laurent and their relationship)
3 days later
These last days with Laurent being here have been strange. He's staying at blaze place and he comes over solely to see Alex with blaze present. I've been basically mute in their presence I can tell blaze wants  to ask me what's wrong but I'm grateful he hasn't. I need a break I'm feeling a little down and I don't want my emotions to rub off on Alex
Calling Alex dad👶🏽
Blaze: hello
Coco: *sighs* hey blaze you busy for the next couple days
Blaze: No why
Coco: you think you could take Alex
Blaze: sure what wrong
Coco: umm nothing just need a little reset
Blaze: belle you sad
Coco: what? No
Blaze: ok give me 2 hours
Coco: you need me to pack a bag for him
Blaze: non I got stuff here except car seat
Coco: ok
Coco ends call sighing watching Alex sleep.
2 hour later
*knock on door*
Coco walks to the door opening it to met with Laurent
Lau: hey umm Larry on phone with our mama so he send me to grab Alex
Coco walks into the living room and straps Alex in the car seat handing him to Laurent
Lau: thanks
Coco: no problem tell Larry I'll call him later to check on Alex.
Laurent looks at coco like he wants to say something but instead nods and walks away as she closes the door sighing.
2 hours later
In desperate need of comfort she calls Asia
Calling sissy💕
Asia: hey
Coco: hey sis
Asia: what you and my nephew doing
Coco: im in the house blaze came by and picked him up
Asia: you ok
Coco: yea I just need a break for a couple days so blaze came and got him
Asia: what's wrong sis
Coco: what you mean
Asia: you sound  defeated
Coco: oh
Asia: what's up
Coco: Lau is here
Asia: oh you guys hash out your problems
Coco: no not really
Asia: how does that make you feel
Coco: alone
Asia: what you mean
Coco: Dre has whole family and almost a one year old. You and Chauncey have a life together. Normani, Megan have their lives. Ryan is engaged to Brett and I'm a single mom.
Asia: coco that's not true
Coco: *cries* it is this village i thought I was gonna have I don't. Alex has it and I'm so happy  and grateful but I'm back to being alone again. Me and Larry aren't together, Lau hates me I refuse to reach out to our parents, Dre has a family and Tyler is busy doing his thing
Asia: hey calm down Courtney it's okay you need me and Chauncey to come down there
Coco: no everyone was able to create their own family except me
Asia: coco you and Alex are a family it might not be what you expected or planned but it's a family sweetie
Coco: I guess so
Asia: have you talked to Laurent and Larry about how you feel
Coco: no that chapter is closed
Asia: Courtney
Coco: please don't push it
Asia: okay I love you
Coco: love you too
Asia ends call
Coco sniffles and sighs looking up to met with Laurent .
Coco: what the hell Lau  how did you get in
Laurent: Larry send me here to check on you he worried and you left door unlocked you distracted by conversation so you no notice me come in
Coco: what did you hear
Laurent: everything
Coco: oh im sorry you can tell Larry I'm fine
Laurent: you no fine though
Coco: please
Laurent comes and sits across from coco looking at her puffy eyes.
Laurent: Belle you really believe you alone
Coco: it doesn't matter
Laurent: yes it do I wanna know how you feel tell me I listen
Coco: *sighs* everyone moved on with their life and was able to make their own family expect me. At first I thought me and blaze could be something I was wrong. Which I'm not totally distraught about that I just wanted to hold onto it for Alex and I do love Larry. Losing you was the final straw for me. I tried to reason why I shouldn't care but it never works. I miss you so much it hurts and never realized my love for you is deeper than anyone. It's because when you did love me romantically you didn't mistreat me or make me feel small. My wants and needs were valued and championed. That's why I hate myself so much for using you. Me and Dre have a great bond and I didn't think it could get any deeper than that then I met you and it doesn't help it started romantic either and I just have so many regrets things I would do differently. I'm just 20 but after all I've been through I feel way older and exhausted. Alex is the greatest blessing out of these 2 years of hell I've gone through. If not for him I don't know where I would be literally. Maybe if I was loved properly by others I wouldn't rely on you or your brothers love but those weren't the cards I was dealt.  *puts head down*
Lau: *sighs* belle look at me
Coco slowly looks up at him eyes glossy tears threatening to fall again
Lau: I leave for 4 months because I was still in love with you. I mad you no chase me after I left you dorm. I know I said we couldn't be together but I hoped you would try anyway. That my fault and that my regret. I was mad no matter the fuck shit my brother do  good come in his life and he not value it. He see it as a burden and annoyance when it's all I need to make me whole. You a beautiful smart girl perfect in my opinion. I just no get how Larry get you and not me. I know you met him first but still I hurt. Then when you have his baby I was happy because I uncle but then I found myself wanting Alex to be my son. Those times with you pregnant me driving you around and holding you hand while you give birth made me yearn for what could've been so I separate myself. I felt that those feeling of being chosen last again. I know In reality you do morally right thing. You have his baby hooking up with his twin would be considered crazy. I was able to release the need for us to be together and I'm sorry it took 4 months but I had to release that before we could be together. You and my brother meant to be and I hope I meet a girl like you and start a family one day
Coco gets up from the couch leaping in Laurent's  arms  as they hug each other both shedding tears.
Coco: I missed you so much handsome
Lau: I missed you too belle