Ch 3- realisation of a lifetime

58 3 4
                                        

**Kians pov **

-1 Week later-

"That's weird " James furrows his eyebrows .

" what is ?" I place my Sandwich down on the Lunch table.

"Holly .." He pauses ."something is wrong ?. She has a bruise on her stomach from 'falling ' last week ?"
He exclaims.

" oh.." I mumbled ."odd.." JC looked at me disappointingly.

" anyone know why? Like the locker thing too? You were laughing at it Kian"
he stares at me intently .

"I just thought it was funny .." I glanced around the cafeteria.

" ugh you're useless"James grumbled.
Suddenly the Lunch Bell rings , signalling it is over .

" alright let's go to English " I patted James' shoulder .

" I've got maths" JC ran off with Shawn.

*************************************

We walked in and sat down .

"New term , new people " I sighed as I sat in the middle of the room.

" yeah wonder who it is?." James sat back in his chair .

Suddenly lots of people piled in, including Holly .. Out of all people.

She noticed me and put her head down and walked to the back .
On her way down I stuck my leg out . She fell, all her books landed on the floor .

She grabbed them and ran to the back of the room 2 rows behind mine.

I laughed along with a few other people .

"Ugh dude ?.." James smacked my arm.
" what?" I chuckled.

" that's my sister you dumbass" his face began to turn dark red.

" sorry" I breathed out .

" DONT apologies to me . APOLOGIES to her! " he yelled , everyone looking at us now .

I turned around and saw her sitting at the back row , no one near her ,with her head down , rubbing her ankle .

"DO it"he hissed .

I slowly got up and walked to the back of the room , all eyes on me . I walked up to her and looked at her .

She looks so helpless.

"Good day class , now everyone please take-" Mr.Walsh walks in."lawley .. Why are you out of your seat?"

" eh I?.." I stuttered.

" having a little chat are you? Stop it .just grab your bag and sit there at the back then and listen to MY class" he hissed , and watched me .

" no ! But sir I!.." I stuttered again.

"No Kian . Do as I say!" He loaded his computer .

I huffed and grabbed my bag and sat beside her . I made eye contact with her brother and looked back at her .

She pulled her chair to the left to get away from me .

" hey" I mumbled . nothing . "H-holly?" Yet again, nothing .
" look I'm sorry for tripping you and kicking your stomach yesterday ..." I kicked my bag.
" please answer me ?" I nudged her .

"No , you're only apologising because my brother said to ." She whispered .

I took my attention off of the board and looked at her .

She was wearing her light red Magcon hoodie and a pair of ripped white jeans with Nike shoes .

Her head was down looking at our textbooks , she was fiddling with her fingers , she is nervous .

I can hear her heart beat fast as the class is so quiet .

" but I did apologies for the kick yesterday and no one told me to.." I honestly am starting to feel bad about it .

She looked at me , her eyes shining like the sky . Small tears left them and trailed down her cheeks .

She turned away and hit her ankle of the table and quietly yelped .
She held onto it tightly trying to wipe away the tears that I caused .

... I caused . I CAUSED ? my God what am I doing ?

" stop staring at me ." She whispered . I came back to reality and looked at her fragile body .

" please can I see something and ask something too?" She looked at me confused but nodded .

" do you hurt yourself ?" I asked .

" what do you mean ?" She awkwardly moved around in her chair .

" like harm .. Cuts ?" I said staring at her arms .

" ugh .. No " she moved her arms away from me and couldn't look at me .

" look at me "

"No"

"Show me your arm"

"No"

"Why!?"

"Because.."

"Of what?"

" I do..." She sighed .. Tears fell numerous times down her cheeks .

" shhh" I cooed ."don't cry . I'm sorry .. Let me see?".. I pleaded holding out a hand. She looked at me frightened .

I held out my hand and just sat there , showing I meant no harm this time.

She slowly pulled her sleeve and placed her arm in my hand .

Never in my life have I felt so mad at myself . It felt as if I just got stab in my heart .

" I'm s-sorry" I stuttered .
Her arm was like a board for Tic-Tac-Toes .. Just covered all over the place .. Small bloody marks formed around some wounds.

" this is why I'm Alone .." She trailed off .
"Alone ?" I questioned still holding her arm soft , incase I hurt it .

" alone in the.... Darkness.." She breathed out .
" you ?.. When ?.."

" since I was 12 Kian . Alone . Always . Because of these . No-one wants to be seen with me for these.." She looked away and pulled her arm back .

' I don't know what to say .." My eye was getting teary .

" don't say anything .. It's too late for that ." She sternly looked at me .

Now I was the one who had their head down .

" it's nice to feel horrible ... Don't you think ? Horrible for something you've done ?... Or even if you haven't done anything ? Right ?.." She looked me with sadness in her eyes.

I just realised that I've ruined a life. Her life.

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