The Outlaw's Sister

How This Mess Started

Ashley and I had always been close. We were a close knit family living in Berger , Missouri (population 221). The town was a quiet place were everyone knew each other business. Our Parents died after I was born in a car crash. Our grandparents took us in and raised us. Ashley was 7 years old. Ashley doted on me. He played with me, dressed me up, had tea parties with me. We were inseparable. He was my cooler older brother whom everyone idolized, even my grandparents. He was artistic, smart and athletic. He was a popular kid even though he was different from everyone else. When he reached his teenage years girls were all over him like flies. Despite being the ladies man he is, he has always made time for me.

Then he left Berger for LA. I was 11. I barely saw him after that. He'd pop out of nowhere now and gain bringing an array of presents. Then he'd leave as quickly as he came. We had little contact. Until my 13th birthday. Ashley showed up with a HTC Universal and a Ipod It was the best birthday ever and Ashley stayed for a few days. We were constantly talking and texting after that day. He would tell me about his various bands, his life in LA and how he wanted to make us all proud by achieving his dream of being a famous rock star. His dream seemed fantastical. But we believed in him. I believed in him. Even when he began to cause problems for me. I heard rumors that my "perfect"older brother was a porn star from an asshole in my class. At first I didn't believe him. Then he played the video. I ran into the toilets and was physically sick.

After that "life-changing incident my friends left me. Their exact words were;they didn't want to catch AIDS. So I was alone. I was referred to as the the Whore's sister from that day on. They bullied me constantly. I hated my brother. I hated him for not telling me, for not protecting me from their nastiness. So I phoned him. I screamed at him. I lost my temper. I told him never to call me again. Things went from bad to worse.

I had never felt so alone in my life. The bubbly girl that had once been me disappeared into the back of my mind. I changed drastically. I cut my hair into an edgy fringe, with long layered hair. I dyed it purple and black. I wore "emo" clothes. I pierced my ear 5 times on one side and got snakebites. I wore dark makeup . I went mute (no-one wanted to talk to me anyway.) I never cut myself though. I never felt the need to. Even when they stuck stuff to my locker. Even when they ripped up my painting. for an art competition. Not even when they pushed me around. Especially on my 18th birthday when they destroyed my Chevrolet Corvette that I had only just gotten.

After that my grandparents attempted to persuade me into moving in with Ashley. The poor souls didn't realize that he was the source of all my problems recently. I politely refused. I only saw him on birthdays and Christmas. Even though we were on speaking term at that moment his first album with Black Veil Brides was due to released next year. I didn't want to ruin his career. His way of saying sorry was buying me boxes full of Band Merchandise, tickets for bands I liked and CD's. He even gave me a signed copy of the Black Veil Brides album , Black Veil Brides Merchandise and Black Veil Brides tickets. I told him I wasn't going. I lied. I wen't to every concert in the states nearby. I stood in the crowd near the front. Not once did he recognize me. My brother whom I had once idolized now ignored me. It hurt worse than their relentless bullying. At my last concert I waited. I waited at the back door. I waited with the fangirls. He came up to me. He didn't recognize me though. I was the final straw. I gave him the note I had written earlier. It said;

Dear Ashley,

I came to every single concert, I wore your stinking merchandise every day, I know every lyric to every song and you don't recognize your own sister. Don't speak to me Ashley I'm done with you. I was bullied for years because of you. and you cannot be bother to remember what I look like.

Willow Rose Purdy

He tried to chase after me. He tried to grab my hand. But I pushed him away. I didn't need him anymore. I had hoped in the four years in which we hadn't spoken he would try and check my Facebook. That he would check up on me even though I was mad at him. I thought he would recognize his own sister. I wanted him to care. He didn't. He just posted gifts through the mail to lessen his guilt. He didn't visit or remember anything about me. He had changed. So I gave up. I had wanted to forgive him and now I couldn't. He wasn't my big brother anymore. He was a stranger.

For two years I was a recluse. I ignored everyone but my family and online friends. I went to work ,came home, played guitar, went online , ate and went to bed. It was the same cycle every day unless there was a concert nearby. I avoided Black Veil Brides concerts. I burned all my Black Veil Brides merchandise. I ripped down the posters. I smashed the CD. I couldn't bear to look at my big brothers face knowing what he had done to me. So I locked myself away. Until my 20th birthday.