The Outlaw's Sister

All Time Low Says I should "Forget About It" But Did I listen? Nope.

I had been half-awake for ten minutes. It was 8 am. All I could hear was Christian's snores. Usually I would have put my headphones in and blasted music but I didn't want to wake him up. His arms were wrapped around my waist. I couldn't move without waking him up. I had been a bitch last night so it was the only way I could begin to repay him. He had listened to me last night when he could have ignored me. That's what everyone else did. No-one had listened to me in years. No-one had cared. Not even my grandparents. Ashley was the apple of their eyes. I was their burden. Last night had reminded me that I wasn't unwanted by everyone. I had reminded me that I could feel other emotions other than hatred and self-loathing. I had felt human last night for the first time since I was 14. Christian had made me feel better. Then there was that moment, where his eyes met mine. It felt like a moment out of a cliche movie. My palms were sweaty. He was smiling. My hair fell in my face and covered my eyes. So he moved it out of the way. His hands cupped my face. His lips barely touched mine when he pulled away. He apologized profusely. He said he had "crossed the line". He hadn't. Honestly I wish he had kissed me. I wish he had. At least I would have had one thing under the belt. I know it sounds heartless but I'm not in love with him. Yeah I care about him. He is attractive but I barely know him.

I tried to sleep but I was too awake. So I gently removed his arms from my waist. I placed them round my Hello Kitty Teddy. I kissed his forehead gently. I re-arranged the bed. I grabbed my phone and crept out the room slowly. Then I bolted down the stairs into the living room. I shut the door. I was alone with my thoughts. I pulled the headphones out of my phone. I connected the phone to Ashley's Marshall amp. I had been listening to All Time Low last night. So I decided to play "Forget About It". 

The beat began to play. I began to bounce around the room.

You are a hand full of roses

Thorns and a cheap bouquet

I felt so cheap right now. I felt disgusted that I liked my brother's band mate and I had only just met him.

True, I'm a walking disaster

They told you to stay away

Seems like I'm making

A deal with the devil

Who's whispering softly to me

I began to scream along to the song. I was confused. So fucking confused. 

Are you sure that she's the one?

'Cause I feel

Like a bad joke

Walk the tight rope

To hold on to you

Was it real?

Or a love scene,

From a bad dream

I don't think

I can forget about it

You are a shining example

Of why I don't sleep at all

T-t-t-too many sheep on the brain