Drunk In Love

23

Beyoncé's POV
State Of Grace
July 27

"Where are we sitting this time?" Onika asked as we entered the restaurant.

"That table over there." I pointed towards a secluded part of the restaurant.

If I could, I would've had the place shut down for the evening. So Onika and I could speak alone, but I figured it was a waste because we wouldn't be here for hours.

"Ok." She started walking and I placed my hand on the small of her back, guiding her.

When we got to the table, I pulled her chair out. She thanked me as she sat down and I just smiled.

Once I was seated, we looked over the menu.

This restaurant was where Onika and I came the last time we were making up from an argument. It became our place to hatch things out and get back on the same page. The food was just a bonus.

"Same order?" I asked her and she nodded whilst glancing over the drinks menu.

I called over a waiter who took our regular orders and our drinks. The second he was gone, I looked over to the most important woman in my life.

"So..." She started.

"So..." I gestured for her to go first because I was often the one speaking first.

"On Zamora's birthday, you said somethings that hurt my feelings." Her eyes stayed where her hands were. Eye contact was something she avoided. "I'll admit that it struck a nerve or two."

"What did I say?" I asked, genuinely needing a recap.

I said a lot. Anything could've hurt her feelings.

"That thing about fucking on friends." Our eyes met for a brief second before she looked away again. "I didn't like your tone of voice when you said it and I was upset because I thought we were good."

"Ok." I nodded my head. "I apologise for making you feel some type of way, but I need you to understand something very important." I grasped her attention.

When we locked eyes, she didn't look away this time. We maintained eye contact as I went to speak again.

"You cheated on me, Onika. Do you understand how big of a betrayal that is?" I asked her. "Verbally, I have forgiven you, but that is something that stays at the back of my mind everyday."

She nodded her head.

"I'm not going to lie, if we didn't have kids together, I wouldn't have tried as hard to forgive you-that's if I'm being 100% honest with you." I said. "My forgiveness is more of a privilege than you understand. I was hurt by you, and I'm still healing."

"Mhm." She hummed, allowing me to continue.

"And I've already told you this before, but you sleeping with whoever didn't bother me as much as the reason." I explained. "No one outside of the both of us will understand the pain that we both endured after losing Mir. So going to someone else with that pain is such a stab in the back."

I could see her soaking in my words. Regret filled her eyes as she looked my way.

"I will forever be sorry." Onika spoke after my long monologue.

I reached my hands across the table and our hands intertwined halfway. "I don't want the apologies. I just want to move past it." I admitted.

"Ok."

"The floor is open."

"Can you stop talking and hanging around Catherine, please?" She asked. "I don't want you talking to her because she just wants to get in your drawls."

"I know." I smirked.

"So why have you been entertaining her?" Onika asked, confusion painting her face.

"To see how you'd react. The only good thing that came out of befriending your friend is finding out how much of snake she is." I explained.

"Oh. So you did that to make me jealous?" She raised a brow. I nodded my head. "You're such a weirdo." She remarked and let my hands go. "I hate you."

"I'm playing. It's a business thing." I lowly chuckled and grasped her hands again.

Unfortunately, Catherine was another business thing. She knew some people who I needed in order to get to Martin. She didn't know that anyone she was associated with was in the game, but they were. Some were even related to her.

All I needed to know was which family it was and she gave that information up with ease. I barely had to do anything, beside give her attention.

"I'm being serious. Don't even try to steer away from what I'm saying." Her finger in my face in an instance. "What do you mean by business? It's one too many times that you've done this."

She scrunched her face.

"Do you need someone kidnapping me again for you to realise you're the one pushing people to that point of harming me?"

"I'm very sorry, baby. I promise I won't let this business shit affect you again."

"I know you won't, because you're going to leave the game." She announced.

My eyes widened as I tilted my head sideways. That was a very big conversation that needed to be had at a completely different time with a very different mindset.

"Huh?"

"I said, I want you to stop being so involved in this gangster lifestyle."

"Nick, it isn't that easy."

I'd been trying to leave the game since I found out Onika was pregnant with the twins, nearly 4 years ago, but it wasn't as simple as it sounded.

I had more loose ends to tie up than I could count.

"Beyoncé, you are a very powerful woman and you know this. Everyone is your inferior. All you have to do is put your foot down and pass the torch onto someone else." She spoke.

Nothing she was saying made sense to me.

"I'm trying, but it won't be any time in the near future. You just have to be patient with me."

"Everyday that I'm not with you, I'm so scared. I'm scared that I'll get that phone call. When you tell me about you being in shootouts, I am mortified out of my mind." She began tearing up.

"Please don't cry." I reached over the table to caress her face and make her look at me. "Of all people, I'm not the one you ever have to worry about. I come home everyday-and I'll continue to do so."

"That doesn't take my fear away. I can't lose you, Bey." I quickly caught a tear before it could reach the bottom of her face.

"I'm right here with you."

"Yeah, right here. What about in 10 years?" She questioned. "There are niggas that've been wanting your head since you were born. You think that shits going to go away?"

"It will go away. That's exactly what I'm fixing for us. It doesn't just stop at once. It's a process." I stroked her cheek with my thumb. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do."

"So don't worry. That's all I'm going to ask from you."

"Leave the fucking game Beyoncé or I will take your ass out my damn self."

"I will leave." I chuckled.

"Thank you." She wiped another tear before our food got to the table.

I was quick to get us to-go bags. We managed to hatch things out before the food got to us, so there was no point eating here when we could do that at home.

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Idk if I should double update or nah. I'll see how I'm feeling in a few minutes.

Thoughts?