Drunk In Love

67

Beyoncé's POV
Hospital
September 12

Onika had gone into labour late last night and the twins came out in the first few hours of today.

Everything was perfect.

Onika had a great delivery, that matched her smooth pregnancy.

But the second she fell asleep, everything started going wrong. Our newborn girl was fine, according to the thorough tests.

It was our son that had me in the hospital chapel, praying.

After he came out, he cried for a little while, until he couldn't. That's when I knew something was wrong.

"God, I know I'm not the best person." I started as I put my hands together, sitting in the front row of the chapel. "But please let my baby boy survive this."

Before I could even process it, tears were streaming down my face.

I just wanted my son to be alright. He was so tiny and precious. He deserved to live.

In his first few seconds of living, he was faced with adversities that an adult wouldn't even survive. That didn't stop me from still being hopeful.

"Please, God." I silently cried out.

Every time I closed my eyes to pray, the image of my son's face changing colour haunted me. The way his face slowly turned blue before my eyes was horrifying.

His heart was too big for his chest and it was pressing against his lungs, meaning he couldn't breathe.

"Please send your angels to watch over him." I begged. "I will do anything, God. Just let him get through this."

I looked up to the crucifix on the wall. I wanted a sign that everything would be fine. But I didn't see one.

My head hung and I continued to cry. I was so hurt. A mixture of grievance for Nahmir and pain for my new baby boy.

"Lord, I haven't asked you for anything in years."

The last thing I ever prayed for was Onika surviving the attack at the mall years ago. I only ever asked for things when it was important.

"P-please G-" My own sob cut me off.

I shut my eyes tight, shaking my head. I know I wasn't a saint, but I don't think I deserved to lose so many children. I felt cursed.

"I-if not for me, for Onika." I bawled. "She doesn't deserve this, God." I brought my hands to my face, resting them there with my elbows to my knees.

If anything went wrong, then it'd be my fault because I let them operate on him. He was so fragile, anything could happen.

When I felt a familiar hand on my shoulder, I knew it was my mother.

I felt her sit to my right as she pulled me into her body heat. My hands stayed over my face as I weeped in her arms. She didn't say anything, she just held me.

"Th-this ain't fair, mama."

"I know, honey." She rocked me. "God will come through. Just have faith in Him." Her voice soothed me. "Want me to pray?"

I nodded my head as best as I could.

"Heavenly Father, please place Your protective hands over my grandbaby. You are a merciful God and I know You work miracles. Send Your angels to watch over the baby in that OR. Heal that baby, Lord." My mama prayed. "There is nothing You can't do, God. Cover this family in the blood of Jesus. In Jesus name, I pray, Amen."