Reviewer:Dull_candle_
_________________________________________________Story Details:
Title: Obsessed with him
Status: ongoing
Chapters:6
Genre: Fanfiction (BTS)
Author:jiminverse001
_________________________________________________𝗦𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆
The story revolves around a young and vibrant girl named Kim y/n . As she strolled through the vibrant streets to her beloved café, little did she know that her life was about to take an. unexpected turn.
Fate led her down a path intersecting with danger, as her innocent gaze inadvertently captured the attention of a notorious and formidable figure Park Jimin - a mafia leader with a dark and mysterious past. The moment their eyes met, an unsettling certainty engulfed his being. From that point forward, there was only one desire that consumed the depths of his conflicted soul: to possess her, and her alone.
Little did she realize that her accidental encounter with danger had sparked an unstoppable force, forever changing the course of their lives. The clandestine world of crime would intertwine with her innocent existence, pushing them both to the brink of desire, danger, and undeniable fate.
The story between a girl unaware of her allure and a dangerous mafia leader consumed by his forbidden desires, and obsession.
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰
🌸. Title : First off, when it comes to the title of the book, "Obsessed with Him," I would recommend considering a slight alteration. Given the premise of your story, it appears that it is the male protagonist who takes on the role of someone who's obsessive. Therefore, I would suggest finding a title that suits your story better.
🌸. Description: I liked the way you have written the description precisely,it gives a good overview to the readers that what the story is going to be about,so i won't suggest any changes for that.
🌸. Plot : The plot is a classic in itself,most of the readers on Wattpad love reading this.But the point is how you can make your story stand out from all of them,what's interesting in your book that others don't . I would recommend adding some unique twists and turns to the plot to keep readers engaged and surprised. This could include unexpected character developments, surprising revelations, or intense plot twists that will leave readers craving for more.
🌸.In order to keep readers eagerly anticipating the next chapter, an ongoing story should unfold at a deliberate pace. This means that initially, I wouldn't anticipate the male lead kidnapping the female lead without any kind of resistance from her. Instead, the storyline should gradually build up to this point, allowing for a more nuanced and engaging development of their relationship.
🌸. Although,I think many people will like your way of writing.I suggest that you should try to write in paragraphs , instead of dialogues as it makes the readers understand the situation more. Like ,I want to know about how the character is feeling,is he smirking? Is he annoyed? You should explain all that too.
🌸.I honestly don't mind the length of the chapters,so you can keep it as long as you want .Sometimes, a longer chapter may be necessary to delve into details and build suspense, while other times, shorter chapters can generate a sense of pace. It ultimately depends on what the narrative calls for.
🌸.Your use of vivid imagery made it easy to visualize the scenes in the story,which i actually appreciate.
🌸.I liked how interactive you were with the readers,and also that you provided a good and to the point introduction of the characters.
🌸.And last but not the least,you have a lot of potential for writing a good book.Just try to work on some of the parts which i mentioned.
Thank you for giving me a chance to review your book.I would look forward to the next chapters of your book.Till then best of luck.(◍•ᴗ•◍)
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