Bad Ideas

1

Bad ideas

Chapter 1

Scott Walsh

The air was thick with tainted disruption tonight. It felt like I was never going to get a break in all the college kids out and about. But that wasn't what was setting my nerves off. I couldn't explain it, but it felt like something was going to happen tonight. Something unexpected. I went through the motions of work. The talking. The swearing. The giving good advice to the dude with the broken heart. 

And then it happened. My world up ended and I was left drowning in my own self sorrows and wonder. One minute, I was serving drinks behind my bar counter like a normal person. The next, I was swallowing hard trying to catch my bearings. That usually happens when the past walks into a bar to kiss its future with the present.

Kamren was home. Truly home standing in front of me like he'd never left.  Fuck man, he looked good. He looked really good. I froze when his gaze caught mine. His hazel green eyes were dark with the warmth of liquor running through his veins. He took a few steps forward and I, like a coward, backed away and into the kitchen of the bar I owned and bartended.

I held a hand against my chest, walking calmly to the employee bathroom in the back. I tried to ignore the sounds of feet following me, which was easy to do until I went to close the large wooden door of the bathroom and a foot shot out to stop it.

"Hey--" I complained when he pushed me inside and slammed the door behind us, locking it.

"You shouldn't be here--" I shouted at him.

His big hand reached out, grabbing my throat, pushing me against the wall. His eyes this close were so green and so very sad to see me it broke all the resolve inside me to try to fight. Somehow, I calmed down when his eyes landed on my lips.

"Kamren?" I whispered his name, putting my hands on his shoulders.

He looked back to my eyes. I expected him to scream and fight. Yell at me. Something. I've dreamt of this moment a million times. The first time seeing him after he comes back from the war. Three tours in Afghanistan and two extra years in Germany. Instead he's just staring at me with his hand on my throat. He dropped his hand leaning his forehead against mine. His breaths were heavy as he took in my facial features. I was afraid to move, a fear that he'd disappear the second I touched him creeped in.

"I want to kiss you." He whispered.

"I....I'm with someone." I swallowed at the words, he backed away from me with a face so dire I knew I'd fucked up.

"I see." He whispered. "Is it serious?" He asked, standing away from me a few feet.

"I....I....asked her to marry me right after I bought this place. So we've been engaged for about 18 months now." I told him, crossing my arms on my chest to hug myself.

He nodded, never making eye contact with me. He didn't say another word before turning and leaving out the door he came in. He looked so beautiful it was like watching a God walk away from me. 

My heart hit the floor hard with a thud that only I could hear.

*****

16 years prior

Scott age 17

August in these parts was hot 108 degrees with no breeze. The humidity was enough to make you go outside and come back five minutes later soaked in sweat. I looked around Kam's dad's office and grabbed his hand fan.

"Scotty, you have to come with me and Ruby tonight. It's my last night in town." Kamren, my best friend, told me from the hallway.

I met him at the door frame staring at him for a moment. I was searching for something, anything to let me know how he felt. He was acting normal. 

He was acting like we didn't do what we did last night.

"We had sex, Kam" I told him, grabbing his hand, pulling him into the office.

"Yeah, I know. " He blushed, turning bright red.

"Are we going to talk about it? Or are you going to just run off to the army and pretend it didn't happen?" I asked, anger seeping out of my words.

Kam was always more of an action guy instead of a words guy. He wrapped his arms around me, snuggling his face into my neck. I relaxed into him wrapping my arms around him thinking about how nice this felt.

"If I talk about it. I won't be able to leave. It means too much. It hurts too much. And I have to go. I did something to Maybelline that I won't soon be forgiven for. I'm literally safer around bombs right now than around her or my mom. There's a war coming on this mountain and I cant be here when shit hits the fan, Scotty."

I laughed at him. He wasn't lying though. Him leaving was nothing short of punishment for being born into the wrong family. He worked for a lady named Maybelline who wasn't the up and up kind of person. Kam ran a few deals for her and stole some money to help pay for his mother's cancer treatments

A lot of money. Kam was smart, smart enough to use his brain and muscles to get what he wanted out of life. His mothers best friend, Maybelline, drug dealing, opium farmer that she was, couldn't handle the robbery. She felt as if Kam betrayed her. Not only because he stole from her. But because she had to find out her best friend had cancer because Kam robbed her blind. She said that was worse than the money for her soul.

Somehow the mothers got together and decided the best thing to do was send Kam away. So Maybelline wouldn't want to kill him anymore. She said time would help.

"I'm taking Ruby down to the party tonight. I hope you're there." Kam told me, kissing my forehead.

I watched him leave, but couldn't follow. I wouldn't be going to the party either. I curled into bed and stayed there until a week later. My best friend was leaving me for the army. Or navy or some shit. Either way my life was over and I was depressed about it.

I didn't really move until Ruby needed my help a few weeks later.