Daylight

23 | Shattered

"Why did you say those words to me?"

The silence stretched on for seconds –for minutes. They stood in the middle of the common room, still holding onto each other, one desperate for an answer and the other keeping it.

"Caroline." Madonna spoke, her own voice echoing in her head as she finally allowed her thoughts to get the better of her "We both have secrets, we all do and it is possibly none of my business but I want to know why you said those words to me."

Caroline stared at her with so much fear in her eyes that she didn't understand why she had them, why she had the need to suddenly feel afraid.

"And do not blame it on the champagne. You knew what you did, you stared at me, you smiled at me and you said those words. It was-" it was as if she'd done it to someone before "Answer me."

Caroline opened her mouth to speak, her voice trembling "I do not know, Donna." her lips quivered, one sign Madonna learned that Caroline does whenever she lies "I do not know, I do not even remember saying those words to you."

Madonna listened to the drumming of her heart, slow and steady "You do not know or you do not want to tell me?" she asked, keeping her voice firm.

Caroline shook her head "I do-"

"Perhaps I am exaggerating, making a big deal out of something small, out of a mistake." Madonna removed her hands from Caroline's grip "If you do not want to tell me, that is fine. I will never force you to do or say anything." she clasped her hands then smoothed out the fabric of her dress, unable to keep them firm in one place.

"Donna, please." Caroline stepped forward and Madonna found herself stepping back, stepping away and it made both of their hearts ache "I wish I could tell you, I really-"

"Then tell me!" Madonna gushed out, louder and more desperate than she intended to. She took a deep breath, calming herself "Please tell me."

The tears that formed on Caroline's eyes finally slid down her cheeks and Madonna fought back the urge to wipe them away.

"I do not wish to hurt you, Donna."

"You can never hurt me, Caroline."

Caroline shook her head, pulling her hair back with both of her hands, running her fingers through her waves "If I tell you the reason, it will hurt you, Donna. I do not- we are happy!"

"For how long?" Madonna asked "For how long will we be able to remain happy if we are both aware that we are keeping secrets from each other?" she screwed her eyes shut "For how long do you think we will be able to remain happy before the girls and I leave?"

"Leave?" Caroline breathed out, the world underneath her crumbling into pieces "You are going to leave? What-"

"We were never meant to stay here for the rest of our lives, Caroline." Madonna sighed, unable to hear the beat of her heart any longer, as if it wasn't there anymore "Eventually, one of my daughters will marry a noble man and we will move back to the city." she swallowed, opening her eyes.

"So tell me, Caroline. For how long do you think we will be able to remain happy?"

Caroline shook her head "Then what is the purpose of us, Donna?" she huffed "What are we even doing? We have been dancing around each other for a long time now. What are we?"

"Nothing." the word slips out of her mouth before she could even stop it. Madonna turned away, her eyes stinging "We are nothing, Caroline."

"That is not true." Caroline said "If we were nothing, you would have never said or done all the things you've done for me. If we were-"