PRECEDENT : Draco Malfoy II

68

On Monday, I'm ready to go. I stand by the doorway, waiting for any sign of him in the windows. Every so often, I find myself rubbing my bottom lip.

If Luna could see me, what would she say now? Would she recognize what she thinks infects me for what it is? I wonder if she could ever forgive me for loving him. At the very least, I hope she could love me, if she couldn't bring herself to understand. As much thinking as I do, I don't understand it myself.

I tap the strap of the getaway bag as I wait for him. While I know portkeys aren't pleasant, I've never actually travelled by one. I wonder if it will be worse because we are going farther. My mind is racing. What if he didn't end up buying the house and we got a different one that I hate? What if the walls are infested with earwigs? What if we move in together and realize one day we don't love each other anymore, and then we think maybe we never did and it was just the war holding us together?

I peer out the window. Something cracks. I lean against a wall. Draco apparates into the street. Slowly, he approaches the house. My knees feel shaky. I grip the strap of my bag tighter.

Then, he unlocks the door and steps inside. The burst of air, warm once again, fills the room. Soon, we're going to feel it all the time. There is a paper bag in his hands. It's just his cloak, his wand, and the paper bag. He's got nothing packed.

"Portkeys in here," he explains. "The paper is wrapped in is charmed so you can handle it without going immediately. All you have to do is reach inside and touch it."

My heart skips a beat. He shuts the door behind him, tucking it in tightly. All I can do is shake my head.

You can touch the bag. Not we. Maybe it never was the pair of us ever. Just him and just me.

"No," I tell him. "No, we didn't... no."

"I can't go."

No.

No, no no.

He can go. He can go, but he is choosing not to come with me. This portkey is just for me.

I turn my back to him, shaking my head. I start to pull off my bag. Once again, I feel like an idiot. All this time, he's lied to me. He did it again.

"No," I just repeat the word, my voice catching on itself and trip just as I do. "No."

He's not coming. I've been here, doing nothing but desiring him. Not even my own freedom. I could have tried to make the portkey for myself. I could have left this place and decided to lie low and pray that Harry Potter would defeat He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. I couldn't done any of that but I didn't. I wanted Draco.

We haven't even taken the portkey and I think I might throw up.

"Marty."

He says my name. I spin around to look at him. His face is so straight. Occluding eyes. My hands are shaking. I point my finger, jabbing it at him. He doesn't back away as I approach.

"You lied," I try to shake. "All this time I spent... I've been waiting for you. Not for me. I've been stuck here, and you fucking lied to me!"

He stares at me. I push him with my finger. He's so solid that he doesn't give. I try to grab the bag out of his hand and he snatches it.

"The Dark Lord will find me," Draco says. "He knows I have the Dark Mark. If I come with you, we both will be examples. Not just me this time."